


Not Over You Yet

by Isabella2004



Category: Law & Order: Criminal Intent
Genre: Divorce, F/M, Loss, Love, Rape, Regret
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:20:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 31,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27837445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isabella2004/pseuds/Isabella2004
Summary: Investigating the abduction of a pop star's child leads Logan and Wheeler to an illegal baby sale and to a face from Logan's past.
Relationships: Mike Logan/Original Female Character
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Crossover with Law & Order and Law & Order: Exiled.

**Manhattan - October 1997**

"Michael Logan, I've got an appointment with Harold Willis at 3pm?"

The woman sat behind the desk looked him up and down and then pulled open a fat black book, a red fingernail sliding down the page until it landed on his name. "Yes, I've got you here." She looked up again, her expression betraying a faint trace of annoyance. "You're early. Mr Willis is still in with his previous client."

"That's fine," he replied. "I'm waiting on somebody anyway."

"Take a seat," the woman said, waving towards a couple of large black leather armchairs situated in the corner of the room.

Mike did as bidden and glanced at the selection of magazines and papers carefully arranged on the glass coffee table. _The Wall Street Journal...The Smithsonian..._ not a trashy tabloid in sight. Looking around the waiting room, though, he would have been surprised if there had been. Thick red carpet, dark oak panelling and absolutely no noise except the gentle ticking of a grandfather clock in the corner. He was almost afraid to touch anything. The receptionist didn't look like the kind of woman who would appreciate finger marks.

Just as the hands of his watch were slipping past the 3pm mark, he heard the sound of the lift door down the corridor pinging open and hurrying feet and looked up to see Penny striding towards him.

"Hey," she said, somewhat breathlessly, "Am I late?"

"No," he said, "I was early, apparently. He's still in with his previous appointment."

"Thank God," she sat down in the chair opposite his and opened the buttons on her coat. "I didn't think I was going to make it. Rey and I were all the way over in Brooklyn trying to track down some witness in a shooting from last week and I swear every traffic light in the city was out to get me. I eventually had to get him to drop me five blocks down and run the rest of the way." She fluffed her fingers through her hair. "God, I must look like shit."

"You look fine," Mike replied, a small smile playing around the corners of his mouth. She looked better than fine, she looked great, one of the many observations about her that only made this whole process even more painful. "What's the case?"

"Businessman shot in his car last Tuesday. Found with half a kilo of coke in the trunk and blonde hairs all over the passenger seat." She raised her eyebrows. "Go figure."

"Hmmm..." he replied, trying not to show too much envy. It certainly sounded more exciting than his own case load.

"What about you?" she asked. "You have any problem getting here?"

"No. The ferry was on time. Let's just say I wasn't having a particularly taxing day."

She smiled sympathetically. "Stolen lawnmowers again?"

"Oh no," he said with an exaggerated sense of excitement. "It was a barbeque this time!"

"A barbeque, wow!"

"I know! Who knew these things were so expensive? $400, apparently."

"Insurance scam?"

"Who knows? I tell you, it's probably a good thing we never moved to Staten Island. We would never have been able to keep up with the neighbours if you've got to buy outdoor cooking equipment at that price."

At that moment, the door at the far end opened and two men in impeccable designer suits walked out. The dragon faced receptionist smiled at them as they both passed but upon seeing Mike watching her, resumed her previous cold expression.

"Do you think she knows we're on a discount here?" he asked, leaning over so that only Penny could hear.

"I wouldn't say that until we get the bill," she replied in equally hushed tones. "I know we're getting _some_ discount but I wouldn't count on it being much, friend of my mother's cousin's husband or no friend of my mother's cousin's husband."

"You can go in now," the receptionist said, barely lifting her head.

They both got to their feet and walked the short distance to the office door, Mike opening it for Penny to walk through first. Inside, they were greeted with a large, airy office with picture windows giving a panoramic view of the city. An older gentlemen stepped out from behind the desk and came towards them, hand outstretched. "You must be Michael and Penelope."

"Hi," Penny said, shaking his hand and watching as Mike did likewise. "It's nice to finally meet you. My mother's mentioned you so often over the years."

"Well I'm glad she remembers me," Harold chuckled, gesturing for them to sit in the large chairs opposite his desk. "I'm only sorry we meet under such unfortunate circumstances."

Mike glanced at Penny out of the corner of his eye and wondered if she thought it was as unfortunate as he did. It was certainly amicable, as far as these things could be, almost surreal. Neither of them had thrown anything – yet.

"I take it you've both read the papers?" They both nodded. "And you're both quite happy with the terms set out therein?"

"Yes," Mike replied.

"And neither of you feel the need to seek alternative, separate representation?"

"We'd...just like to get this over with," Penny replied.

"Very well, very well..." Harold lifted a sheaf of papers from inside a black folder and slid them across the desk. "If you could just sign there for me please, Michael."

Mike looked down at the paper, a helpful cross indicating where he should sign his name. It was clearly the original of the papers he had received through the mail a few weeks earlier. He had read them so thoroughly that he felt as though he knew the content by heart. Picking up the pen to sign them and therefore put a final end to the last three years, he found himself hesitating and could sense her tensing beside him. They had come this far. There was no changing things now, and they both knew it. It just made it so final, seeing it written there in black and white. Quickly, before he had time to say anything, he affixed his signature and slid it back again.

"Perfect, thank you. And now you, Penelope?"

He watched as Harold marked a cross at the straight line neatly positioned next to his own name and slid it across the table again. He saw Penny lick her lips before lifting the pen, could see a tiny vein throbbing in her temple and knew, without asking, that she was feeling the exact same way he was. She didn't look at him again until after she had signed her name and passed the paper back and, even then, it was only a quick glance.

"Well then," Harold looked up and smiled at them both. "Bar any complications, of which I can't see there being any, you should receive the final decree within two weeks."

"Great," Mike said, though the word came out devoid of enthusiasm.

"I'll make sure that you both receive a notarised copy for your records, of course. I have both of your addresses, and the terms of the settlement are thereafter binding as agreed." Harold tapped the papers together. "Do either of you have any questions at this time?"

Mike looked over at Penny and thought he could see a tear shining in the corner of her eye. She shook her head. "No," he replied for both of them.

"Well, thank you both very much for coming today," Harold got to his feet, indicating the meeting was over. "Whilst I appreciate how difficult this must be for you, I must say it is a refreshing change when a couple can agree a divorce settlement as amicably as you have been able to. Most of the time these things become so bitter and protracted."

"I'm glad we were able to buck the trend," Penny said, her voice tight.

Handshakes all round, they left the office and made their way in silence along the corridor to the lift. Mike thought about what he should say. _Congratulation? We did it? Thank God it's over? What a huge mistake...?_ He was prevented from having to make a decision by the arrival of the lift which had three other people already in it. In the way that people do, they all rode silently to the ground floor, no-one seemingly daring to even breathe.

"Well," Mike said when they eventually stepped out onto the busy sidewalk. "I guess that's it." Jamming his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket, he turned to Penny and gave her a crooked smile.

"I guess it is," she said, shaking her windswept hair out of her eyes and meeting his gaze. "I'm going to have to get used to calling myself by my maiden name again...and I'll have to change all my credit cards back. Shit, what a pain in the ass."

At least that's something I don't need to worry about," he laughed. "You...uh...you fancy grabbing a quick drink? We can toast to the start of our marriage-free lives."

"Oh...I wish I could, but I can't," Penny said. "I promised Van Buren that I would go straight back to the house. I've got so much paperwork to catch up on I'll be lucky to get it done by Thanksgiving. But we could do it another time, right? I mean, it's not as if we're never going to see each other..." she trailed off and he knew exactly what she was thinking. Of course they weren't going to see each other. She was still a Manhattan homicide cop and he was out on Staten Island. Besides, who knew divorced couples who still made arrangements to meet up?

"Yeah," he lied, "sure, another time."

Penny looked down, "I...uh...I know that it wasn't mentioned in the settlement but...well I wondered if you wanted the rings back."

"Rings?" She held up her left hand, still bearing the engagement and wedding rings he had bought her. Somehow seeing her still wear them gave him a funny feeling inside. "No," he said. "Keep them."

"Are you sure?" He nodded. "Well...I should go, I guess."

"Yeah," he agreed. "Me too. I got a barbeque thief to bring to justice."

Penny laughed, but this time there was no mistaking the tears in her eyes. Before she could object, he pulled her to him in a final embrace and was rewarded with her equal response. Closing his eyes, he tried to fix the moment in his mind. He knew it would be the last time he would ever get the chance to hold her like this.

"Ok," she said, when they pulled back from each other, "I...I really should go." The tears spilled down her cheeks. "Goodbye Mikey."

"Goodbye Pen." She turned away first and he watched as she hurried down the sidewalk, practically running to get away from him, until she was lost in the crowd of New Yorkers. "I love you."


	2. Chapter 2

**Manhattan – November 2006**

It was well after 8pm by the time he got to the bar and Mike knew that Amy was going to be pissed. He had tried calling her from the squad room to let her know he was going to be late but it had gone straight to voicemail and he wasn't sure if she genuinely hadn't been able to answer or had deliberately ignored him. The fact that he had to consider the latter possibility probably said a lot about their current relationship.

When he pushed open the door he saw her straightaway, sitting in a booth at the far end of the room, a half empty glass of wine and a scotch on the table in front of her, her face buried in her cell phone. "Hey," he said as he approached the table, grateful for the warmth inside after the cold night air of the city streets.

"You're late," Amy said, without lifting her head.

"I know, I'm sorry," he said, shrugging off his jacket and tossing it along the seat."I got stuck in an interrogation. I did try to call you..."

"I know. I decided not to answer."

Mike slid into the booth across from her, "Why not?"

"Because," she met his gaze, "I knew you were going to give me some lame ass excuse as to why you couldn't be here, like you just did, like you always do."

"Amy, I was at work," he said, "I was interviewing a suspect...what do you want me to do?"

"I want you to think about me sometimes," Amy pouted.

The exaggerated look of sadness on her face may have made other men fall over themselves to apologise and promise it would never happen again, but it only served to make Mike angry. Didn't she realise how difficult and stressful his job was? Did she really have no clue as to the things he had to deal with every day? He was about to issue a barbed retort to her childish comment when he suddenly realised that the answer to both of his questions was no. How could she? How could he possibly expect her to have an understanding of his work? She was a twenty-three year old film student for heaven's sake.

"Twenty-three?" his partner, Megan Wheeler, had said when he had told her. "Isn't that a little...?"

"A little what?"

"Young?"

"No," he had scoffed. Amy was drop dead gorgeous with long wavy blonde hair, big blue eyes, a generous chest and a tiny waist, not to mention the fact that she had clearly found something attractive enough about him to agree to go out with him. What did age matter when the chemistry was good?

Megan hadn't been convinced. "You met her at a children's birthday party."

"It was my friend's kid's party and she was dropping off her little brother."

"Exactly!"

Mike had waved away her concerns with a pig-headed determination and belief that this girl was going to be different from all the others. She would be the one to change everything, to provide that something that had been missing from his life since his divorce. So he had ignored the obvious signs that pointed towards disaster rather than bliss. The near thirty year age gap for one, brought all too startlingly to his attention when she had asked him if AC/DC was a branch of the NYPD. He had to admit now that perhaps Megan had been right all along.

"I do think about you," he said quietly, swirling the scotch in his glass.

"No, you don't," she huffed, "and to be quite honest, I'm getting tired of playing second fiddle to...to murderers and rapists and..."

"Amy..."

"No," she sat forward in her seat, "I mean it Mike. I like you but...but I don't think this is going anywhere. In fact...I've been thinking about breaking up with you for a while now. I'm sorry," she said, though her tone sounded anything but, "you're sweet and...and not bad in bed...but I think it's for the best."

"Fine," he said, sitting back, surprised by how little effect her revelation had on him, even if he would have rather she'd said he was _great_ in bed as opposed to _not bad_. "If that's how you feel about it, fine."

"It is," Amy said, lifting her jacket. "I'm sorry. Take care of yourself."

"You too," he said as she swept away from the table, offering not even so much as a goodbye peck on the cheek. As he sat alone, listening to the chatter of other couples in the bar around him, he couldn't help but feel a small sense of relief at the fact that the relationship was over. Who had he really been kidding? Only himself.

Like a self-harmer, a cutter, who can't resist opening an old wound, he took the picture out of his wallet, the one that was so dog-eared that he was surprised it hadn't ripped, and looked at it for a long time before stuffing it back inside where it sat alongside the newspaper clipping of the incident that had led him to Staten Island. Draining his glass, he couldn't help but wish that things had been different. If he could go back, if he could change it, he would never have punched that councilman, for he knew that it was that one moment of madness that had precipitated his separation and eventual divorce from the only woman he knew he'd ever really loved. The woman he still missed every single day, even nine years on.

"Can I get you another?"

He looked up into the smiling face of the waitress, a girl in her early twenties, and shook his head. "No thanks."

Perhaps it was simply time to accept that he had had the best, he had let the best go and that was that.

XXXX

"Hey," Megan greeted him the following morning as he came into the squad room. "How was your night?"

"It was...not great," he admitted, sitting down at his desk.

"Was she mad?"

"Yup, so mad in fact that she broke up with me."

"What? Oh Logan...I'm sorry..."

"Forget it," Mike said, lifting the papers littering his desk and beginning to sort them into piles, "it's for the best. You were right all along."

"Well," she grimaced, "if it makes you feel any better, I don't feel good about it."

"Reckon I'm better off staying single."

"Don't say that."

"We can't all be as lucky as you and the dashing Colin." Glancing up, he saw Megan blush under her freckles. _I remember what that feels like,_ he thought, _that feeling you get when you think about the person you love._

"You'll find someone," she said confidently. "You must just need to, you know, raise your minimum age limit a bit."

Mike opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by Captain Danny Ross appearing at his office door. "Logan, Wheeler...in my office. I've had a call from the Chief of Detectives regarding a case they want us to take from the local precinct," he explained once the door had closed behind them. "I'm not sure if either of you are aware of Madison Harley?"

"Who?" Mike asked.

"Madison Harley," Ross replied dryly. "My eldest son reliably informs me that she's the hottest thing since Britney Spears. He has her calendar on his wall, apparently."

"I still have no idea who you're talking about."

"Madison Harley," Megan said, looking between them. "She's the latest pop princess. Her debut album went triple platinum last year. Don't tell me you've never heard her song _Cry Baby_ on the radio? It's practically a teen anthem."

"I must have missed that one," Mike said, thinking that she and Amy would have gotten on well. "So, what's the case?"

"Pop princess or not, Madison Harley gave birth to a baby girl, Maya-Rose, six weeks ago. Last night she and her boyfriend were out at a party when someone broke into their home, assaulted the nanny and took the child."

"Abducted her?" Megan asked.

"Right from under the nose of Ms Harley's security team," Ross continued. "No doubt a lawsuit waiting to happen. Anyway, given the high profile nature of the case, the Chief of D's wants us on it. Local precinct are on the scene now."

"Has there been a ransom demand?" Mike asked.

"Not yet, but kidnap for ransom seems the most likely scenario given Ms Harley's public standing. So," he smiled at Mike, "let's get in, get the details and get on it. I don't want anyone's head turned by the alluring Ms Harley."

"How old is this kid?" Mike turned to Megan.

"Nineteen."

"Well, no problem there, Captain," he smiled at his boss, "Twenty-five's my new minimum."

XXXX

"Madison Harley, twenty-one, gave birth to Maya-Rose six weeks ago. Father's one Joey Rand, bit part actor," the detective from the local precinct filled them in as they climbed the staircase to the second floor of the singer's 5th Avenue home. "Madison and Joey attended a party last night thrown by her record company, leaving Maya-Rose in the care of their nanny, Paola Martinez."

"Where was the party?" Megan asked.

"Allure, it's a nightclub in Chelsea. They left here at seven-thirty, arrived back at midnight to find Paola unconscious on the floor and Maya-Rose gone." The detective stopped outside a door. "They're in there. They're both pretty upset but, if you ask me, Rand's on something."

"Thanks," Mike said. He pushed open the door and found himself stepping into what could only be described as trashy opulence. Clearly no expense had been spared in the decoration of the room, but it was a matter of opinion whether or not taste had been spared too. The carpet was thick and white, the furnishings white and gold, large gilded mirrors hung on every wall and there was a huge photograph of a young, blonde woman above the fireplace. Seated on a large couch in the far corner was the woman in the photograph, her face chalk white, coloured only by the streaks of mascara that were running down her face. "Ms Harley?" The woman nodded. "I'm Detective Logan, this is Detective Wheeler. We're from the Major Case Squad."

"Major Case?" Madison peered at them through red-rimmed eyes.

"It means they're the best," a man chipped in from the other corner of the room. "Only the best to find Maya-Rose."

"You're Mr Rand?" Mike asked.

He nodded, shifting from foot to foot and wiping his nose viciously, "Joey. Maya-Rosa's dad."

"We're very sorry about what's happened," Mike continued. "Is there anything you can tell us about last night?"

Madison shrugged, "We were going to the party at Allure. My record company organised it as a precursor to the release of my new album...we left here at seven-thirty...everything was fine. I'd fed Maya-Rose, she was sleeping and Paola..." she broke off as fresh tears came over her.

"And you got back around midnight?" Megan asked, sitting down on the couch next to her. Madison nodded. "Did you notice anything unusual either when you left the house or before you came back inside?"

"No," Madison said, "everything was normal."

"How about you?" Mike directed the question to Joey who shook his head. "You have on-site security?"

"We have bodyguards," Joey replied. "There were two here last night, not that they did any good!" he kicked out at a small table, causing it to spin across the room.

"Joey, stop it!" Madison exclaimed.

"Take it easy," Mike said, holding his hand out.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Joey said. "I'm just...I'm just a little strung out here...about Maya-Rose," he added.

"We'll need to speak to the bodyguards," Megan said, turning back to the detective who had led them in. "Are they still here?"

"In the other room," he replied.

"We hired them through a reputable agency," Madison said. "I've been using them ever since I first hit it big, you know? There's never been any problems with my security..."

"What about your nanny, Paola?"

"She's been with us since just before Maya-Rose was born," Madison replied. "She came highly recommended. She used to work for Cindy Crawford. When we saw her..." she put her hand over her mouth..."there was so much blood..."

"Well, we're going to need to talk to her too," Mike said. "And, you haven't had a call? No-one demanding money for Maya-Rose's return?"

Madison shook her head. "You think...you think that's what this is about? Money?"

"It's a possibility," Megan said, "you're a high profile, wealthy figure."

"Obviously, we want to get this out on the news as soon as possible," Mike said. "Make sure that everyone's looking for Maya-Rose. Hospitals, airports, train stations...do you have a recent photograph?"

Madison nodded and, getting to her feet, crossed the room to the mantelpiece where a large gilded frame contained a photograph of a baby squinting at the camera. With shaking hands, she handed it to Mike. "You're going to find her, right?"

Looking at the photograph, he couldn't help but think that she looked like every other baby he had ever seen, but when he looked back at Madison, he saw the raw fear that only a parent who had lost their child could feel. He patted her on the arm in an attempt at reassurance, "We're going to do everything that we can, I promise."


	3. Chapter 3

"We didn't see anything out of the ordinary either when they left the house or when they came back," Rick Heston, the older and clearly more experienced bodyguard folded his arms and leaned back against the wall. "The first thing we knew that anything was wrong was when we heard Madison screaming. We ran inside and found Paola."

"You didn't go with Madison and Joey to the party?" Megan asked.

"No, Dean said there would be no need. The driver picked them both up in the limo and dropped them both back off."

"Who's Dean?"

"Dean Manchero, Madison's manager."

"What about you?" Mike turned to James Dutton, younger and clearly less experienced. He looked like he was still shaking, even hours later.

"Just what Rick said," James replied.

"What were your duties when Madison and Joey were out of the house?" Megan asked.

"Keep an eye on the perimeter, get rid of any paparazzi or obsessive fans trying to get to close to the family," Rick said.

"And were there any last night?"

"No. Place was quiet as a grave."

"Apart from yourselves and Paola, were there any other staff in or around the house last night?" Mike asked.

"No," Rick replied.

"What about security video? We noticed cameras when we came in."

"System's busted."

"A high profile singer like Madison Harley and she lives with broken security cameras?" Megan said incredulously.

"You'll have to ask her or Manchero about that," Rick said.

"How well do you both know Madison and Joey?"

James opened his mouth but Rick answered. "I've worked for Madison for over a year, which is about the same length of time she's been dating Joey. They both dote on that kid. They would never do anything to hurt her."

"Ok," Mike said. "We might need to talk to you again."

"We'll be here," James piped up. "Anything we can do to help find the baby."

Mike regarded him steadily and then exchanged a look with his partner, "Good to know."

XXXX

Paola Martinez was not a pretty sight. A Hispanic woman in her mid-forties, someone had done their best to ensure that she wouldn't remember anything about what had happened in that house. Glancing into her hospital room, Mike noticed the large bandage around her head and, even from the door he could see both of her eyes were nearly swollen shut.

"How bad are her injuries?" Megan asked the doctor.

"Well, she's got a fractured skull, fractured cheekbone, two fractured eye sockets, extensive bruising..." he sighed. "In all the circumstances, she's pretty lucky."

"Any idea what she was hit with?"

"Could have been anything, but most likely a blunt implement of some kind. I'm not sure fists alone could have inflicted that kind of damage."

"Can we talk to her?" Mike asked.

"You can try, but she's pretty spaced out. We've had to give her strong painkillers."

"Thanks..." he stepped into the room and made his way over to the hospital bed. Up close, she looked even worse and he felt himself wince. "Ms Martinez? Can you hear me?" Paola made a slight noise in the back of her throat and turned her head slightly towards him. "I'm Detective Logan, this is Detective Wheeler. We're investigating what happened at the house last night. Can you remember anything about who attacked you?"

"No," she said faintly.

"Was it a man...or a woman?"

"Mmmmmm..."

"Do you remember what time you put Maya-Rose down?" There was no response. "Ms Martinez?"

Megan tugged on his sleeve, "This is a waste of time. There's no way she can tell us anything right now." Walking back out of the room, they met the doctor again. "If she becomes more lucid, or remembers anything, can you give us a call?"

"Sure," he said, "but it could take days."

Mike shook his head, "That kid might not have days."

XXXX

"So the bodyguards saw nothing and the nanny can't talk," Ross summarised when they returned to the station. "Bearing that in mind, what do we know?"

"We know that the only person in the house with Maya-Rose between seven-thirty when Madison and Joey left and midnight when they came back, was Paola," Megan said. "The bodyguards, Rick and James, were outside apparently patrolling the perimeter."

"For four and a half hours? On a November night in New York?"

"Security cameras are broken so there's no way to verify their movements," Mike added, "and no way of finding out if anyone _did_ get into the house."

"What about an alarm?"

"It wasn't set," Megan said. "Presumably because Paola was in the house."

"Does she live in?"

"Yes, she moved in a week before Madison gave birth to Maya-Rose. We've checked her credentials with the agency she works for and she's been a nanny to the stars for over fifteen years. Kim Basinger, Cindy Crawford and Julia Roberts are all former employers. She's got an exemplary record, perfect references...she seems clean."

"What about the bodyguards?" Ross asked.

"James Dutton's clean, no priors, not even so much as a parking ticket." Mike said. "Rick Heston on the other hand..." he lifted a sheet of paper from his desk, "has previous for armed robbery in 1994, served four years, and domestic battery in 2001, served six months."

Ross frowned. "Why would a reputable agency hire someone with that kind of record to be a bodyguard? Don't they have to go through rigorous background checks?"

"The agency, Muscle Inc..." Mike made a face, "is owned and operated by one Paul Childs. A quick search of the company's records lists a Claire Heston as a director."

"So, he got a job there based on the fact that it's a family business," Ross said. "Get over there and see if you can find out anything else useful about Mr Heston. You might want to remind them that just because he's family doesn't mean they can get around the security licensing authority regulations."

XXXX

"Rick's my brother-in-law," Paul Childs explained, gesturing for them both to sit down opposite his desk. A slightly rotund man in his early forties, he had tried to make an excuse to not speak to them upon arrival but, faced with the prospect of two detectives camping out in his marble foyer, had eventually relented. "Well, ex-brother in law. He was married to my sister Claire."

"They're divorced?" Mike asked.

"Since 2002."

"Did that have anything to do with his conviction for domestic battery?"

"I wouldn't know," Paul said, uncomfortably. "That was between them."

"What, he beats up your sister and then you give him a job protecting the rich and famous?"

"Our clients aren't just celebrities, Detective. We look after people from all walks of life, as well as property. I've been running this company for fifteen years."

"But your company's been supplying bodyguards to Madison Harley for over four years, isn't that right?" Megan asked.

"That's right."

"So, how did you get the gig?" Mike asked.

"Through Dean Manchero, Madison's manager," Paul replied. "He called me, back when Madison was just starting out, and asked if I wanted a long term contract. Dean and I go way back. We used to work doors together in the 80s. Of course I said yes, who wouldn't?"

"How long has Rick Heston been part of Madison's security detail?" Megan asked.

"I'm not sure. I'd have to check my records." Paul replied. On Megan's look, he turned to his computer and punched in some details. "Rick started with us in September 2004 and took on the job with Madison in June 2005, over a year ago. Before that...we had him on a warehouse job in the Bronx."

"You must have been aware of his criminal record when you hired him." Mike said.

Paul shifted in his seat, "Yes..."

"And did you declare his convictions to the licensing board?"

"Look, he's my brother-in-law, ok? I was trying to do the guy a favour. He needed a job."

"So, that would be a no?" Megan asked. "You realise that that admission alone jeopardises your own security license?"

"He's family," Paul shrugged, "What else was I supposed to...Claire!" He jumped to his feet as a small, dark-haired woman came into the office. "These people are detectives," he explained. "They're looking into the abduction of Madison's Harley's baby."

"We don't know anything about that," Claire said officiously, her eyes hard. "Our staff are highly trained professionals and are no way involved in any so-called abduction."

Megan frowned, "We weren't suggesting that they were, Mrs Heston. We were asking your brother about why he hired your ex-husband when he knew he had a criminal record for violence."

Claire smiled, "If you want any more information from us then I'm afraid you'll need to come back with a warrant or a subpoena or whatever it is you people usually use. Until then, neither of us, nor our staff, will be giving you any further information. Please leave."

"You know we can get a subpoena for your records," Megan said.

"Then you should do that," Claire said.

"Fine." As he made to walk past her through the door, Mike turned to Claire, "That kind of attitude usually suggests people have something to hide."

XXXX

"Maybe we're looking at this from the wrong angle," Megan said as the lift doors opened onto the squad room. "Maybe we should be looking closer to home rather than focusing on deadbeat husbands."

"You mean Madison and Joey?" Mike asked.

"Exactly. Heston was pretty quick to defend either of them against hurting Maya-Rose and Claire called it a 'so-called abduction.'"

"Ok, what do we know about them?"

"Madison's story's well known. Small town girl from North Carolina, plucked from obscurity and thrown into a world of success, money and parties...every girl's dream."

"You talk about that with your girlfriends on a Saturday night?" he quipped, lifting the phone messages from his desk and squinting at the terrible handwriting.

"I read US Weekly."

"Can't see _that_ impressing Colin. I had him down as more of a _Wall Street Journal_ man."

"Very funny," she made a face at him. "Joey on the other hand...nobody seems to know much about him."

"Well his biggest claim to fame is, what, dating Madison? Getting her pregnant with his child, a child that would be heir to her money?"

"That, and a few roles in some terrible straight to cable movies. There's never really been anything come out in the press about his background, his upbringing...nothing, and I'm sure the tabloids have tried."

"Hmmm, he certainly seemed to have a drug habit of some kind," Mike observed, "judging by his behaviour at the house at any rate. Maybe we could ask Mr Manchero, if we ever manage to get a hold of him that is. I must have left three messages with his office and not one return call. You'd think he'd want to help find his protégée's child."

"Detectives..." Ross came over to join them. "There's a detective in my office from the Anti-Human Trafficking Task Force looking to speak to you about this case."

"The what?" Mike asked.

"You heard. It's Mayor Bloomberg's newest and brightest idea."

"Great, some overweight, over the hill cop who's scored a cushy desk job now wants to give us his opinion on the abduction of a pop star's baby?"

"Actually, it's a she," Ross said. "And she says she knows you."

Mike frowned, "I don't know anyone on the Anti-Human Trafficking Task Force."

"Old girlfriend?" Megan quipped.

"Well, she's waiting for you," Ross said. "Said her name's Penny Fletcher."


	4. Chapter 4

**Staten Island – December 1997**

_Christmas, what a joke,_ Mike thought to himself as he booked the prisoner into the holding area. _A time for families to be together. Or for husbands to beat the crap out of their wives._ He slammed the door of the cell shut and walked back into the squad room. Darkness had already fallen on this Christmas Eve and he was already an hour past his quitting time. Just when he had thought he would be able to finish on time, the call had come in and he had raced off to save a damsel in distress. So it went in the Domestic Dispute Squad in the 128th. He had felt sorry for the woman when he had seen her, her face all bruised, but she hadn't exactly been cooperative with them and he knew it wasn't the first time her husband had been arrested, so his sympathy had waned slightly at her protestations that she didn't want him arrested.

"Punk ass bastard," his partner, Tony Boyer, said throwing his notebook onto his desk. "Couldn't he at least have waited until later tonight before punching her? Then someone else could have caught this case. Now we gotta spend the next hour writing up the book before we can hand this guy over." He slumped down into his seat, clearly unhappy at the turn the evening had taken. "It's Christmas Eve for Christ's sake!"

"Yeah well," Mike said, sitting down at his own desk opposite. "Later tonight he might have killed her."

"I figured you'd prefer that. Give you a homicide to investigate, seeing as you go on about them so much."

"I do not."

"Oh, Jesus, Mike you do," Tony said, shaking his head. "And trust me, it's getting old."

Mike stared at his partner of less than three months with half a mind to do to him what their prisoner had just done to his old lady. Two years he'd been on this beat, and Boyer was his third partner. It was starting to take on a familiar regularity. Max Greevey, Phil Cerreta, Penny Fletcher, Lennie Briscoe, not to mention the two rookies he'd had on Staten Island to begin with...he looked out of the window at the familiar, and somewhat torturing, lights of the city skyline and wondered what Penny was going to do this Christmas, the first since their divorce had been finalised six weeks earlier. No doubt she would be spending it with her mother and sister in Long Island and they would all talk about what a loser he was. Last year they had been on the brink of separation, holding it together long enough to get over the festivities, but he knew that if he had told himself back then where he would be now, he still wouldn't have believed it.

"Damn it, this is going to take forever!" Tony exclaimed, rolling a piece of paper into a ball and lobbing it into the trash can beside his desk. "I got Judy at home bending my ear about being home for the kids and my in-laws arriving from Salt Lake City in the morning...I do _not_ need this!"

"Go home, "Mike said. Tony looked up. "I mean it, go home to your family. I'll write it up. It's not as if it needs two of us to note down that he punched her in the face."

"What's the catch?"

"There is no catch. It's Christmas and you got a family, so go."

Tony got to his feet and grabbed his jacket, "Thanks, Mike. I owe you one."

"Yeah..." Mike said, watching him race out of the practically deserted squad room. "Whatever." Any other year he would have been just like Tony, desperate to get out of work as quickly as possible, even last year. This year...well, it wasn't as if anything or anyone was waiting for him at his apartment.

He was almost finished writing up his DD5 when he heard his boss's door at the far end of the room open. "Don't you have a home to go to?" He looked up to see Stolper, watching him and realised, with a start, that he was the only other person left in the squad room, no doubt preventing his Lieutenant from leaving himself.

"I just got to finish this first."

"I saw Boyer leave."

"Well, he's got a family waiting for him." Mike tried to concentrate on what he was doing, but a shadow fell over his desk and he looked up into the other man's face. "I don't need your pity, Lieu."

"I wasn't going to give you it," Stolper said, as though the thought offended him. "But I know this is your first Christmas without Penny and I was just going to ask what your plans were for the next two days."

"Television...take-out...beer. Before you know it, it'll be December 27th and I'll be back at this desk."

"Logan..."

"Don't," he cut him off, "don't say it."

"You don't know what I was going to say."

"I can imagine. Look, five minutes and I'll be out of your hair, ok?"

Stolper shrugged before turning away, "Have it your own way."

 _Have it my own way?_ Mike thought to himself. _If I was having it my own way, this is not the way I would be having it!_ He raced through the rest of the paperwork, put it in the appropriate basket, lifted his jacket and headed for the front door.

"Night Logan," the desk sergeant said as he passed. "Merry Christmas."

"Yeah," Mike replied, turning his collar up. "Merry Christmas."

**Manhattan**

Peter Jay's was crowded, but then it _was_ Christmas Eve, a time for celebration. The noise of chatter was almost deafening and the moment he walked inside, Mike regretted going there. If Pete hadn't seen him and started pouring his regular scotch before he had time to react, he would have turned and walked straight back out. Why punish himself? Why sit miserably, alone and depressed, putting a dampner on everyone else's evening? As it was, he pushed his way over to the bar, pulled himself up onto a stool and began attacking the peanuts sitting on the bar. It suddenly dawned on him that he hadn't eaten since breakfast.

"Tough day?" Pete asked, sliding the glass over to him.

"No more than usual," he replied, unwilling to get into a conversation with the bartender. Everyone seemed to want to commiserate with him this year when really, all he wanted was just to be left alone to wallow. Maybe that was the wrong thing to do. Maybe he should look around the bar, start talking to the first hot girl he saw and make a night of it. But his heart wasn't in it. His heart was somewhere else, with someone else. Glancing around, he was struck by just how many couples there in fact were. Holding hands, touching, the occasional kiss...it was almost as if they were mocking him and he was suddenly reminded of a conversation he'd had with Penny over two years earlier.

_"Why is it that everywhere I go, all I see is pregnant women, or women with kids? It's almost as if God's trying to mock me!"_

_"That's not true and you know it. You're just more sensitive to it because of everything's that happened."_

_"You don't feel it?"_

_"Of course I feel it, but..."_

_"But you're more preoccupied with punching elected officials, right?"_

"You want another?" Mike glanced up to see Pete pointing at his now empty glass and realised he had drained it in one go without realising it. For a moment, he toyed with the idea of getting completely blitzed. There was no-one to stop him, no-one to caution him that it was Christmas tomorrow, no family to be sober for...

"No," he said finally, the noise of Christmas cheer beginning to grate on him, "I'm going to go."

"Ok," Pete said, "have a good one."

"Yeah you too." Once outside, he stuffed his hands into his pockets and headed towards home. Even all these months later he had to remind himself which way to go, lest he end up back at their old apartment. His new place was all right as far as it went, the neighbourhood was ok, the rent was reasonable and the other residents in the block seemed quiet enough...but there was just something about it that made him almost reluctant to go back there. It wasn't home, not really. Home was where Penny now lived alone. Home was the familiar couch with the sagging seat in the corner, the score mark on the kitchen counter where she had dropped the roasting tray, the bed that just somehow seemed to remember his body shape when he got into it...

"Mike? Mike!" The sound of his name caused him to stop and, turning around, he saw the last person he expected, Penny herself, standing outside a bodega, a brown paper bag in her hand, a large coat and hat shielding her from the icy wind. He felt his heart suddenly slow and then speed up at the sight of her. It was the first time since the day at the lawyer's office.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, walking towards her.

"Just getting some provisions for the next few days," she replied, holding up the bag. "I figured I'd try and be organised this year rather than wake up tomorrow jonesing for corn chips and not be able to get any."

"You're staying in the city?" She nodded. "I figured you'd be going to your Mom's."

"She and her sister have booked themselves onto a cruise this year," Penny replied, "and Louise is spending the holidays with her in-laws in Minnesota."

"You never told me."

She cocked her head on one side, "Why would I?"

He opened his mouth to reply and then stopped. She was right, why would she? They weren't in touch with each other. They were divorced. He had a notarised copy of the documents in his apartment to prove it. "You're right," he said. "Sorry."

"No, I..." she shook her head as if to chastise herself, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that the way it came out." She paused. "How have you been?"

"Fine," he replied carefully. It was the only answer he could give her, even if it was nowhere near the truth. "You?"

"Same. You working over the holidays?"

"No, I got the next two days off, you?"

"I'm on nightshift on the 26th. Briscoe and I kind of drew the short straw what with...well, you know how it is."

"Not having family," he said. "Yeah I know how it is."

She gestured back across the street. "You were in Peter Jay's?"

"Yeah, but it's pretty crowded so I decided to split. You got plans right now beyond the contents of that bag?"

"No," she laughed, "though the corn chips here are _really_ good."

"Listen..." he weighed up whether or not to say it and then decided to go ahead anyway. There was nothing to lose except face. "You want to get some coffee?" He waited for her to be the sensible one, to say no, that it wasn't a good idea, but instead she nodded and, ten minutes later, they were in a corner diner, quieter than the bar but still busy, warm and inviting. Penny shrugged off her coat, hung it on the back of her seat and pulled the hat from her head, fiery locks tumbling down her shoulders. As she ran her hand through her hair, he noticed that her ring finger was bare. "Two coffees please," he told the waitress. "Oh, and two donuts...with sprinkles."

"Two cops, drinking coffee and eating donuts," Penny said. "We're such a cliché."

"It _is_ Christmas."

"Yeah," she paused. "So."

"So."

"Did you catch your barbeque thief?"

"Yeah," he laughed at the memory. "Turned out the wife took it when she left to piss her old man off because he wouldn't give her the candlesticks. Only on Staten Island. What about your murder?"

"The businessman in the car? No, gone cold." She fingered the corner of the menu that sat propped up on the table between them. "It's never good having an unsolved homicide, as you know, but...all our leads dried up pretty quickly. I feel bad for his family. Whatever he was into, and he was definitely into something, they don't deserve what they're going through now, especially at this time of year. Lennie's convinced it was a hit organised by his partner but...

"Since when have you been partnered with Lennie?"

"Since the last few weeks. Rey's had to take some time off to look after his wife. We're getting on ok," she added. "He treats me as if I was his daughter sometimes. Keeps asking me how I am." The waitress put the coffees and donuts down on the table in front of them. "You know, Van Buren all but invited me to her place for Christmas. I think she was worried in case I might slit my wrists."

"Stolper was the same with me," Mike replied, tipping sugar into his cup.

"I guess we should be grateful for bosses who care."

"I guess so." He stirred the liquid slowly. "I paid my half of the lawyer's bill."

"Me too," Penny said. "Wasn't much of a discount, huh?"

"Well, if that _was_ a discount, I'd hate to see what the regular price of a non contested divorce is."

"Yeah..." She took a bite of her donut. "It was kind of weird seeing it all...finalised. When I opened the envelope it was like..."

"I know," he agreed, meeting her gaze. Before he could stop himself, he reached out and brushed a stray sprinkle from the side of her mouth. He felt her tremble slightly before he drew his hand back and a flush of colour ran up her neck and onto her face.

"Thanks," she said quietly.

He licked his finger, "You're welcome."

XXXX

They talked for a good hour about everything and nothing, work mostly, carefully sidestepping any conversation about feelings, good or bad. Mike found himself aching to touch her again, her hand, her arm...not necessarily in a sexual way, but in a comforting way. Despite everything that had happened, she still 'had' him. She probably always would. Eventually, somewhat reluctantly, they left the diner and began walking along the block towards Penny's apartment.

"I'm telling you," he said, "It's A Wonderful Life. Best Christmas movie ever."

"So you've been telling me for years," she rolled her eyes.

"Are you going to watch it?"

"Maybe." She stopped at the security door and turned to face him. "Well..."

"This is you."

"Yeah. It was good to see you," she said genuinely. "I'm...I'm glad you're ok."

He smiled. "You were worried about me?"

"Maybe a little," she replied with a smile before reaching up and kissing him gently on the cheek. "Goodnight Mike."

Before he even realised what he was doing, Mike caught her gently, but firmly, by the arms, causing her to drop the paper bag, pulled her to him and kissed her. For a second she resisted, caught by surprise. Then she responded, sliding her hands around his back, up over his shoulders and into his hair, pulling him tightly to her.

"God, I miss you..." he murmured as they broke apart and he swept her hair away from her face, his lips finding the softness of her neck. She gasped and gripped him tighter to her, then suddenly stiffened.

"Mike..." she tried to pull away but he held onto her, pulling her back into him, resting his forehead against hers, unwilling to open his eyes and face the reality of their situation, a situation that an hour or so in a coffee shop on Christmas Eve couldn't change. "Mike, please..."

He opened his eyes and looked at her, "Just one time," he said desperately, reaching up and cupping her face with his hand, "One time, Pen..." He felt her start to shake and knew that despite everything that they had been through, all the fights, the arguments, the pain, the recrimination...she still felt for him what he felt for her. He wanted her, needed her so badly...if not to make to it right, it not forever, then only just one more time. He could live with that, couldn't he?

"No," she said softly, "we can't."

"Why not?"

"Because...because it wouldn't be just one time, Mikey, and you know that as well as I do. This..." she reached up and stoked his face gently. "This was never our problem."

"Then what was our problem?" he asked. "What was our problem, Penny, because right now...right now, all I want to do is forget it, forget the divorce, forget everything..." he pulled her into him again and kissed her fiercely. Once again, she didn't resist. Once again, she responded to him as if the whole sorry mess had never happened...as if they were a normal couple whose next stop on this cold Christmas Eve was the bedroom.

Breathlessly, she pulled back. "It's too late..."

"No, it isn't..."

"It is!" She broke free from his grip and stepped back. "We're divorced, Mikey! It's over...it's..." she lifted the paper bag from where it had fallen onto the sidewalk and clutched it close to her chest as if for protection. "We shouldn't have had coffee, we should just have...we should just let each other go."

"So, I'm never going to see you again, is that what you're saying?" Mike had known that day at the lawyer's office that that was the sensible thing to do. Seeing her, being with her...it had only re-opened the wound that was trying to heal and dumped a bucket load of salt in it. "We're divorced and that...that's just it?"

"What did you think would happen?" Penny asked. "We would get divorced and then just...just start again?"

"I don't know," he said, "I don't know. I just...all I know is that I love you. And I know that you love me. You couldn't kiss me like that if you didn't." Shaking her head, she moved past him towards the secure door entry. "Penny, please..."

"I never said that I didn't love you," she turned to face him again, tears streaking down her cheeks. "I'll always love you, Mike, but...but we can't do this. We separated for a reason. You need to move on. We both do."

He stood, wordlessly, as she punched in the security code, wrenched open the door and disappeared inside the building. He knew the code, it hadn't changed. All it would take would be for him to follow her inside, up to what had been their home and then...he paused as the idea ran through his head. And then what? Talk her round? Make her see how ridiculous she was being? How a divorce didn't have to mean the end?

"Now who's being ridiculous?" he asked himself. Penny was right. He had to let his marriage go, let her go...move on. Across the street, the door of a bar opened and drunken revellers spilled out, screaming _So This Is Christmas_ at the top of their lungs. He watched as they stumbled and slid on the icy sidewalk, laughing and holding onto one another, then directed his gaze upwards to what had been their living room window. The lights were on, but the shade was pulled down. "Merry Christmas," he said, to no-one in particular, and then turned for home.


	5. Chapter 5

Mike froze at the sound of her name, unable to believe how strange it felt hearing someone else say it out loud. Mike and Penny. Penny and Mike. How long had it been, nine years? Nine years since he had seen her, heard her voice, touched her...Christmas Eve 1997...how could he forget? How could he forget that the last time they had been together, it had ended badly? "You're not serious," he said when he finally found his voice.

"I'm deadly serious," Ross replied, his expression deadpan. "Should I be joking?"

"No, it's just..." he broke off, completely devoid of words to adequately convey how he was feeling. She was there, right there, in an office not ten feet from where he was standing. His wife...his ex-wife, the woman who still held the standard for every relationship he had tried to formulate over the last nine years. He wanted to see her, was almost desperate to see her and yet something...something made him hold back, made him want to almost run in the opposite direction.

"Logan?" Megan asked suddenly, jolting him back to reality.

"Yeah..." he looked over to see a frown marring her features. "I'm fine..." Crossing the distance from his desk to the office, he took a deep breath and stepped inside. She had her back to him at first, looking out of the window towards the river, but when she turned to face him, there was no mistaking her. Her hair was a little shorter and she was, perhaps, a couple of pounds heavier, but it was definitely her eyes and her smile. "Penny."

"Hi Mike."

"Oh my God..."

She laughed, "I know, right?"

"Oh my God..." he repeated, stepping forward with the intention of hugging her and then pausing, mindful of what had happened the last time and suddenly conscious that she might not want him to touch her. Noticing his hesitation, however, Penny merely laughed again and moved towards him initiating and, indeed, maintaining the embrace when it came almost, he thought, for a little too long. "I can't believe it..." he said, holding her as tightly as he dared. In an instant, it was Christmas Eve again and all the old feelings, so carefully contained, bubbled to the surface. Finally he pulled back and looked her up and down. "You look...you look great."

"So do you," Penny replied, reaching up and touching the greying hair around his temple, causing a shiver to run through him. "A little older, a little frayed around the edges perhaps..."

"Yeah well, time hasn't been as kind to me as it clearly has been to you." He met her gaze and felt his heart pound in his chest as he wondered what she was thinking. Did she think of him as often as he thought of her? "It's been a long time."

Her eyes danced across his face. "A really long time."

For a moment, they just looked at each other and he had to fight hard against the urge to kiss her. "Oh...uh...sorry," Mike said, dragging his gaze away as Megan coughed surreptitiously in the background. "This is my partner, Detective Megan Wheeler. Wheeler, this is Detective Penny Fletcher."

"Nice to meet you," Penny said, shaking the other woman's hand.

"And you," Megan replied, her gaze flitting between them. "You two go back a long way?"

"Mike and I were partners, back in the day," Penny said.

"And she's my ex-wife," Mike added.

Ross's eyebrows shot up and Megan's jaw dropped slightly, "Ex-wife? Wow...I had no idea..." she looked at Mike as if to say _and you never told me this because...?_

"Yeah well..." he looked at Penny again, "It's not something I like to talk about." Rather than be offended, he could tell by her expression that she understood his sentiment, a sympathetic smile playing at the corner of her mouth. "I really can't believe you're here. You're on this...Anti Human Trafficking Task Force?"

Penny nodded, "For the last six months or so."

"I got a call from your Lieutenant saying that the task force had an interest in the Maya-Rose Rand case," Ross said, bringing them back to the matter in hand.

"Yes, sorry, that's why I'm here," Penny turned to him. "Apparently the Mayor discussed the case with my Lieutenant this afternoon and he wants the task force to take over the investigation from Major Case."

Mike frowned, "What does the disappearance of a pop star's kid have to do with human trafficking? I mean, shouldn't you be looking at prostitutes and illegal immigrants?"

"It's...complicated," Penny said.

"Complicated, how?"

She looked uncomfortable. "I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to discuss that."

Mike started laughing, "You're not at liberty to discuss it? Jesus, Penny, we're all grown-ups here...we're all on the same side..."

"I know. I'm sorry." An awkward silence descended over the room. "It's not anything personal about your handling of the case..."

"Then what is it?" Mike asked defensively, all initial thoughts at seeing her again suddenly replaced with anger at the fact that she was trying to muscle in on their investigation. Who the hell did she think she was? "This is our case."

"The circumstances warrant investigation by the task force, that's all. As far as we're concerned, from the information provided, this isn't a typical, run of the mill kidnapping."

"How would you know?" he demanded. "We only caught this case this morning. The kid was only taken last night, you can't know any more about it than we do."

"Have the parents had a ransom demand? No? I didn't think so. You don't think that's odd under the circumstances? A high profile, wealthy singer's kid gets abducted and they haven't hit her up yet for money?" She glared at him and Mike was suddenly acutely reminded of the old days before and after they were married, when they used to butt heads over work, normally with Lennie and Rey trying to play peacemakers. Of course, in those days, they usually resolved any differences they had in bed.

"We're trying to keep an open mind," Megan jumped in as the tension in the room slowly increased.

"And I appreciate that, believe me. But, like I said, we need to take over from here." Penny turned to Ross for confirmation. "Captain?"

Ross looked at his detectives. "Until I get official confirmation from the Chief of D's that this is no longer one of ours, the case stays here."

Penny stared at him, "My Lieutenant gave me the impression that I'd get your full cooperation here. He said he spoke to you and..."

"I told your Lieutenant the exact same thing I've just told you. If he didn't see fit to tell you that before you came down here then that's something you need to take up with him. No offence."

Penny's jaw tightened in anger. "None taken. But it doesn't change the fact that..."

"Yes, it does," Ross said tightly.

She looked from Ross to Mike and back again. "You know that I can make that call from the Chief of D's happen, don't you? We're a task force established by the _Mayor._ We _are_ going to take this case."

Ross sat down at his desk. "I look forward to the call."

"I see," Penny shook her head. "Fine, play it whatever way you want." Lifting her bag, she turned for the door and then paused. "It...uh...was good to see you Mike." She made a move as though she was going to kiss him on the cheek and then, seemingly thought better of it.

"Yeah..." before he could say anything else, she had thrown open the door and was stalking across the room towards the exit...walking away from him again, like she had before... "Captain..."

"As luck would have it, I happen to know the Chief of D's is tied up in meetings for the rest of the day," Ross interrupted his thought. "So that call is going to be a few hours away at least. Plenty of time for you to make progress on this case."

"Is there any point?" Megan asked.

"Yes," Ross said, "there's still a child missing. You were going to be looking into Madison and Joey's backgrounds. You can still do that. If we have to hand this over we can at least show we've done a good job." He looked at Mike. "I had no idea. You ok?"

"Yeah," Mike said, "just...just give me a minute." He hurried out of the office and across the squad room into the foyer. "Penny!" He caught up with her at the elevators. "Penny, wait!"

"Your Captain has already said everything that needs to be said," she said, punching the button viciously. "If he wants to play hardball, then that's fine by me, but I stand by what I said. He's going to have to turn the case over to us, like it or not."

"I don't give a crap about that..."

"You did five minutes ago when you were arguing with me about it!" She turned to face him, eyes flashing angrily the way that Mike had always thought made her look unbelievably sexy. "I told you this wasn't personal. I'm just following orders. The last thing I wanted to do was come in here and piss on anyone's parade. If my Lieutenant had been straight with me..."

"I know all that," he said, stepping forward as if to take her by the arms, but stopping himself just in time. "Look, leaving that aside...I haven't seen you in nine years!"

"And...?" she looked at him suspiciously.

"And...I think that warrants us at least sitting down and having a conversation, don't you? I mean, what have you even been doing since I last saw you?"

"Working, much the same as you, I would imagine."

"Come on, it's not going to kill you...dinner, a drink..." He broke off as a sudden thought crossed his mind. "Sorry, I shouldn't...I mean..."

"What?"

"Well, you could be married to someone else for all I know and..."

"I'm not," she said quietly.

"Oh...well..." he tried to keep the relief out of his voice, but sensing her continued hesitation, gave voice to what he guessed she was feeling. "I promise that I won't grab you, or kiss you or try to convince you our divorce was a mistake." It was meant as a joke, but to his surprise, Penny's eyes suddenly filled up with tears.

"Ok," she said, turning back to the elevator door, before he could comment on it.

"Great..." he said reticently. "So...can I call you?" Reaching into her bag, she pulled out a card and handed it to him just as the elevator door opened. As she stepped inside, he could have sworn he saw the shine of a tear at the corner of her eye. "I'll call you then," he said.

She nodded as the doors started to close, "I'd like that."

Mike stood, staring at the spot where she had just been, for a long moment. She had obviously been pissed about Ross's reaction, but had he really upset her that much by mentioning what had happened all those years ago? Something about that just didn't sit right.

"Everything ok?" Megan asked when he came back to his desk.

"Yeah," he replied, though he wasn't rightly sure. He had expected her to laugh, or make a face at him. The last thing he had expected was for her to get upset. "Everything's good," he said, though he wasn't sure who he was trying to convince.

"Ok," Megan said, in a tone that indicated she _wasn't_ convinced. "I ran Joey Rand's name through the system to see if he has any priors and...it turns out Rand isn't his real name."

His mind back on the case, Mike leaned over her shoulder to read her screen. "Joseph Marcus Rodden?"

"He's got priors for drug convictions in New York, Rhode Island, Maine and North Carolina."

"Madison's home state."

"Yeah," Megan said. "He only finished his last bout of probation last year."

"Hmmm," Mike mused. "I wonder how much Madison knows about her baby daddy's past?"

XXXX

Once outside in the fresh air, Penny suddenly realised how tense she felt and let out a long, slow breath to steady herself. She had left her office without a coat and the late afternoon sunshine was started to fall away, the temperature dipping with it. Shivering, she hurried into the nearest coffee shop for some warmth and found herself waiting in the line, replaying over and over what had just happened at Major Case.

 _That bastard Miller,_ she said to herself thinking back on the conversation she had had with Lieutenant Pete Miller before leaving. He had told her they would cooperate in the handing over of the case when in reality...

"Hot chocolate, extra cream," she said to the barista, figuring that she deserved it.

And then there was Mike. _God, Mike..._ he had looked almost exactly the same, better even. Older, a little heavier, but he still had those eyes and that smile...the one that had made her knees ashamedly weak the first time they had ever met. It had been so long, too long, since she had seen him. Christmas Eve 1997, that bittersweet evening when he had tried to convince her that they should, somehow, start again. Maybe if she had listened to him, if she had gone along with his plan...things might have turned out differently. She might have been happier. Standing in his Captain's office, discussing a case...it was as if the years had suddenly fallen away and they were back at the 2-7. If she had just closed her eyes, she would have seen Briscoe, Cragen, Profaci...As she walked back towards her office, the steaming liquid burning her throat, she felt her anger mount once again. Not at Major Case, but at her own house.

"You sent me in there knowing that they hadn't agreed to turn the case over to us," she railed at Miller twenty minutes later. "You made me look like a complete idiot!"

"Well I figured you could charm them into agreeing," he replied, "especially given the fact that your husband works there."

"Ex-husband," she reminded him, suddenly acutely aware of how painful it was to think of him like that.

"Whatever," he came around his desk and stood in front of her. "You seemed pretty excited at the prospect of going over there. The fact is, I spoke to the Chief after you left, he spoke to the Mayor and they want us to work on a joint investigation with Major Case."

"A joint investigation?"

"Yeah, so I want you and Lewis over there tomorrow to get into it. Remember, this is our show Penny. We're grateful for their help, but these are _our_ bodies and we want to close this, got it?" She said nothing. "This could be a huge opportunity for you," he continued, lowering his voice. "Crack this case wide open and you don't know what the outcome might be...where it could lead for you..." Reaching out, he touched the buttons on the front of her suit jacket and Penny felt her stomach turn over.

"Don't touch me."

Pete met her gaze, "You say that now...you weren't saying it then."

"I..." she started to retaliate and then stopped. What was the point? He was never going to accept that what he had done was wrong, not in a million years, and she was the idiot who hadn't reported it at the time. Well, it was too late now. Stepping away from him, she fought down the bile in her throat. "I'll fill Lewis in."

He leaned back on his desk, "You do that."

As slowly, and with as much dignity, as possible Penny fled from his office back to the safety of her cubicle and put her head in her hands. Even just his fingers on her buttons made her want to rip the jacket off and burn it. _It shouldn't have happened...it shouldn't have happened..._

Lifting her head, she wiped a stray tear from her cheek. She had to get off this task force, the sooner the better.

XXXX

"So," Megan said as she and Mike drove towards Madison's home. "You're divorced."

He had known the conversation would come up, but he hadn't really been looking forward to it, so he kept his eyes focused on the road in front of them. "Yup."

"And you've never mentioned it because...?"

"Was I supposed to mention it?"

"Come on Logan...all those eyes you make at women, all that chat we had about Amy, all the times you've ridiculed me about Colin...you never once thought to mention you'd been married?"

"Well, like I said before, I don't really like to talk about it," he replied, turning onto 5th Avenue. "I haven't seen her since 1997. It was a long time ago."

Megan unclipped her seatbelt as he brought the car to a halt outside Madison's home. "She seemed nice."

"She is nice." He glanced over at her. "What?"

"Did you catch her at the elevators?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"And, it's none of your business, Wheeler," he said as lightly as he could. "Perhaps we could focus on the case while we still have it?"

She shrugged. "No problem."

As he got out of the car, Mike reached into his pocket for the hundredth time simply to reassure himself that Penny's card was still there. The way she had looked at him, the way he had felt looking at her...there was still something there...there had to be.


	6. Chapter 6

"Joey's not here," Madison said, leading them back into the same room as they had been in earlier that day. "He needed some fresh air and to get away from the vultures outside. They keep trying to get in to take pictures and, somehow, they've managed to get our number. The phone won't stop ringing."

"You mean the press?" Mike asked. "We saw them when we came in. How did they find out about Maya-Rose?"

"I don't know. Rick and James have had their work cut out keeping them at bay."

"Joey left you here on your own?" Megan asked.

"No," Madison sat down on the couch, "my manager's on the phone in the other room."

"Dean Manchero?" Madison nodded. "We were looking to talk to him."

"Well, I'm sure you can when he's done."

"We actually wanted to talk to you," Mike said, sitting down in the chair opposite her, "and it's probably a good thing that Joey isn't here."

"Ok."

"We've been running a few checks and we found out that Joey isn't who he says he is. Do you know his real name?"

"Joseph Rodden? Of course I do," Madison replied.

"Do you know why he changed his name?"

She smiled ruefully, "He thought Joey Rand sounded better for his acting career."

"Were you aware that he has a record?"

"It's just kids stuff...shoplifting, fighting, that kind of thing."

"It's a little bit more serious than that," Megan said. "Most of his convictions are for drugs."

"Drugs?" Madison's eyes grew wide, "Joey's into drugs?"

"What, you're telling us you didn't know that?" Mike said. "You move in circles where drugs are ten a penny."

"I've never seen Joey take any drugs!"

"When we came by here this morning, Joey seemed...wired," Megan observed, "he was acting as if he had taken something."

"He was upset! We were both upset, we _are_ both upset!" Madison exclaimed, getting to her feet. "Our daughter's been kidnapped! How do you expect us to be?!"

"Do you bottle-feed Maya-Rose?" Megan asked, gesturing to a bottle left sitting on the side table.

"What? Yes."

"You don't breastfeed?"

"I...I couldn't," Madison wrapped her arms around herself. "I tried..."

"Is that because you take drugs?" Mike asked.

"No," she glared at him, "and neither does Joey! I don't know who you think you are coming in here and accusing us..."

"We're not accusing you of anything," he said, "we're simply asking..."

"What does this have to do with finding our baby?"

"If Joey is into drugs," Megan said, "then he might know some unsavoury people. People who might try to get at him through his daughter."

"That's...that's ridiculous!"

"Of course it is." Mike and Megan both turned to see an older man standing at the door to the room, a cell phone in his hand. "I can assure you, Detectives, that neither Madison nor Joey are involved with any unsavoury people. I wouldn't allow it."

"You must be Mr Manchero," Mike said. "I called your office three times earlier but you never called me back."

"It's been a difficult day as I'm sure you can understand," Manchero said, stepping over and shaking his hand. "It's Detective Logan...?"

"Yes, and this is Detective Wheeler."

"I must say, when I heard that you were investigating this case I was fascinated."

Mike frowned. "Excuse me?"

"It's not every day that you get to meet the cop that punched Kevin Crossley in the face so publicly. Bravo, as they say."

Mike paused, disconcerted by the look of interest on the other man's face. "Yeah well, we're here about Maya-Rose."

"Of course you are. But you're barking up the wrong tree if you think this is about drugs."

"Are you denying that Joey has convictions for drug possession and dealing?" Megan asked.

"No," Manchero said, "I'm denying that that has anything to do with the baby's disappearance."

"So, you were aware of his past but Madison wasn't? We find that a little hard to believe given that Joey has priors from North Carolina."

Manchero and Madison exchanged glances. "Madison was just trying to protect Joey," the former said.

"By lying to us?"

"I wasn't lying," Madison said, "but like Dean said, it has nothing to do with Maya-Rose."

"Who organised the party at Allure last night?" Mike asked.

"I did," Manchero said, "it was to kick-start Madison's return to the album charts after the baby. A lot of heavy hitters were there, as well as a few critics. Everyone's very excited to hear her new material."

"You told Madison's security detail that they didn't need to accompany her?"

"Yes, I was in the limo that collected her and Joey and brought them home again. There was no need for security."

"Do you vet the bodyguards that Muscle Inc assign to Madison?" Megan asked.

"No, why should I? I've known Pete Childs for years. I trust him implicitly."

"Were you aware that Rick Heston has convictions for robbery and domestic assault?"

"First you want to drag up Joey's past and now Rick's?" Madison exclaimed. "They're both good people! Why aren't you out there trying to find our daughter instead of wasting time with these stupid questions?!" She turned to her manager, "Dean...I can't do this..."

"All right, it's all right," he comforted her. "I'll finish up with the Detectives. You go and lie down until Joey gets back." When she had left the room, he turned back to them. "I think we're done here, don't you?"

"For now," Megan said. "We'll see ourselves out." As they made their way back down the stairs to the front door, her phone suddenly rang. "Hello?" Mike watched her face change. "When? Ok, thank you."

"Who was that?" he asked.

"That was the hospital. Paola Martinez died twenty minutes ago."

"Great," Mike said, "now it's kidnapping _and_ murder. You think the task force are still going to want it?"

"Probably even more so."

"Well, if I was them, first thing in the morning I'd be picking up Joey Rand or Joseph Rodden or whatever the hell his name is. You ask me, he's got a lot more to say about this."

"Yeah...look," Megan said, as they got back into the car. "I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to pry about you and Penny. You're right...it's none of my business."

Mike put the keys in the ignition and sighed, "Don't worry about it. Like I said, it's not something I like to talk about. A lot of things happened back then."

"Well, maybe this is a chance for you to clear the air."

He looked over at her, "How do you mean?"

"A chance to say all the things you want to say? To get things off your chest?"

"How do you know I've got things to get off my chest?"

"Logan, I know you were only in her company for five minutes and I'm not a shrink..."

"But?"

"But there were clearly unresolved issues there," she said with a knowing look. "Not to mention a hell of a lot of sexual tension."

XXXX

Comet wasn't the usual kind of bar that he would frequent, but when he had called Penny after leaving Madison's to suggest they meet up for a drink, it had been the first name that had tripped off of Mike's tongue that wasn't Peter Jay's. As the hands on his watch slipped past seven-thirty, he hoped she hadn't got lost. As surprised as he had been when she had agreed to meet, he'd been even more surprised when she said she'd never been there before.

"Can I get you a drink while you're waiting?" the waitress asked, flashing him a smile.

"Uh, yeah...a beer and a white wine spritzer please," he replied, giving her the briefest of looks as she sashayed back over to the bar. He was nervous and yet he wasn't entirely sure why.

 _You shared a bed with this woman for three years._ _It's not like you don't know each other. How much can a person change in nine years?_

Drumming his fingers on the table, he wondered what they would talk about. He had promised her that it wouldn't be a repeat of that Christmas Eve so, if they couldn't talk about their divorce being a mistake, what did that leave? Their lives between then and now? Work? Relationships? The reasons for their divorce?

The reasons...as always, when he thought about those reasons, he felt a knot form in his stomach, one that he had become so good at ignoring. Wheeler's words resonated in his head. _There were clearly unresolved issues there._ If only she knew the half of it.

The waitress had just left the drinks on the table in front of him, when movement at the door caught his eye and, looking up, he saw Penny make her way towards him. "I wasn't sure you'd come," he said, standing up as she approached the table.

Penny paused and looked at him, "Why wouldn't I come?"

"I don't know. I just thought you might change your mind and decide that an evening reminiscing with your ex-husband wasn't exactly top of your to-do list on a Tuesday night."

"And stand you up? Of course not." She shrugged her coat off, slid into the seat opposite him and looked down at the glass already in place in front of her. "White wine spritzer?"

"Yeah," he replied, "if that's what you still drink. I can get you something else...beer..."

"No, it's perfect, thanks." Taking a sip of the crisp liquid, she glanced around at their surroundings. "This doesn't look like a cops bar."

"It isn't."

"I'm impressed. I figured you'd want to meet at Peter Jay's."

He laughed, "Now that _would_ have set some tongues wagging, Pete's most of all. But there's more to me than meets the eye, you know. I can pull it out the bag when it's necessary."

"I remember."

_God, you look good..._

He met her warm gaze and smiled. "I meant what I said back at 1PP. You look great. Working on the task force must agree with you."

She shifted a little uncomfortably in her seat and looked down into her glass, "It's ok."

"Just ok? I would have thought you'd have been thrilled to land a job on something like that."

"It's like any job. It has its good and its bad points." She took another drink and he could tell by her expression that, somewhat bizarrely, she clearly didn't want to discuss that particular subject any further.

"Where were you before?"

"Brooklyn South homicide, before that I was in Vice for a while and before that...the 116th in Queens."

"Wow, you _have_ been around. The 116th...that was Lennie Briscoe's old precinct."

"Yeah," Penny smiled, "he put in a word for me with his old captain when I decided to leave the 2-7."

"Well, you did tell me once that he treated you like a daughter." Mike paused, waiting for her to elaborate on why she had left, but she simply smiled. "I thought I might have seen you at his funeral last year."

"I wanted to be there," she said, "I really did but Louise was in labor and I was her designated birthing partner. I didn't think I could very well leave her alone, even if he _was_ my old partner. I heard it was a great service though."

"It was. But, what happened to Matt?" Mike asked, referring to her sister's husband.

"He was in California with work and he couldn't get back in time. Besides, he'd been at two births already so I reckon he was looking for a pass."

"They've got three kids?"

"Two boys and a girl."

She looked at him expectantly, but he took another swig of his beer and changed the subject. "You know, I came back to the 2-7, once, in June '98. We caught the body of a hooker and..."

"I know," she interrupted him. "I heard."

"You did?"

"I couldn't really miss the news about Profaci getting sent to prison for aiding and abetting a murderer like Gianni Uzielli, could I?" She took a large gulp of wine and shook her head. "There but for the grace of God and all that."

"Yeah" he agreed, "For a long time, I thought I should have done more but..."

"What could you have done?" she asked. "He made his choices...it's Shirley I feel sorry for. I heard they had a kid."

"Boy."

She sighed, "To be honest, I was kind of glad I wasn't there when it all happened."

"I remember wishing you had been." The words were out before he could stop himself, before he realised how pathetic they sounded.

If she thought that, Penny gave no indication. "Why?"

_Because I still loved you...because I wanted to see you..._

He shrugged, "I don't know. To see if things were still the same? Maybe we could have worked together on my case."

"My Lieutenant told me earlier that the Chief of D's has sanctioned a joint investigation into the Maya-Rose case," Penny said, changing the subject. "You hear the nanny died earlier?" He nodded. "So, it looks like you'll get your wish."

The thought made him pause as she looked up at him through hooded lids, clearly waiting to gauge his reaction. He felt his stomach flip over. Working together...days spent in her company...what was _that_ going to be like? "Just like the old days, huh? I have to say though, given what went on this afternoon, your Lieutenant sounds like a right asshole."

"Yeah," Penny drained her glass, "he is."

"What's his name?"

"Pete Miller. I worked with him before, when I was in Vice. I didn't realise he was going to be my Lieutenant on the task force until I got the job. Should have run for the hills right then and there..." She visibly shivered and looked up. "What about Major Case? How did you get the gig there?"

"Well, I was dating this woman..."

"Why am I not surprised?"

"Hey!" he laughed. "Her name was Gina. She was a nurse at Brooklyn Fed and there was some shit going down in there with the guards abusing some Arab prisoners...I got kind of pissed off when a couple of my now colleagues started questioning her about it so I got myself onto the investigation and, a few months later, I got the call and...here I am. Who would have thought I'd ever make it back to Manhattan?"

"I knew you would, eventually," Penny said loyally. "What happened to Gina?"

"Yeah, well...our relationship didn't last too long after that. I think she thought my work was more important." He paused, wondering if she would pounce on that titbit of information.

"I'm sorry." She ran her finger around the rim of the empty glass. "Not to get personal, but have you had many girlfriends since us?"

"Get as personal as you like," he replied with a sly smile. "Depends how you define 'many'. "I'll be honest...I haven't exactly been living the life of a monk."

Penny laughed, "I wouldn't expect anything less of you, Michael."

He cocked his head on one side, "You?"

She lowered her eyes again, "Not really."

"Not really?" he ducked his head to meet her gaze, "does that mean...?

"It means no. There's been no-one. Well, no-one special."

"You do surprise me, Penelope," he teased, but she didn't smile in response. "So, how did you know?"

"Know what?" she asked, clearly thrown by the sudden change of subject.

"How did you know I was working Major Case? I mean, we only caught the Maya-Rose case this morning, which is when the task force must have heard about it so...?"

"Carolyn told me."

"Carolyn who?"

"Carolyn Barek. Your ex-partner?"

_What the hell...?_

Mike stared at her, "You know Carolyn Barek?"

"Sure," Penny nodded. "She's on the task force."

"She's on the task force?" he knew he sounded like a broken parrot, but this was a startling revelation if ever he'd heard one. "You're friends with her?"

"Not exactly." She gestured to the waitress and ordered a second round. "She joined a few months after I did and we got talking one day about our previous postings. She said she'd worked at Major Case with a really interesting guy who had spent ten years on Staten Island for punching a politician. I think she was a little surprised when I told her that not only did I _know_ the guy she was talking about, but that I too had once been his partner _and_ I'd been married to him when he punched said politician."

"Hmmm...an interesting guy, huh...?" Mike said, dubiously. He wasn't sure how keen he was to hear what conversation his ex-partner and his ex-wife had engaged in about him. His relationship with Carolyn...well, who knew what all that had been about? She had definitely been the strangest partner he'd ever had. Good-looking, alluring even, but definitely strange. "She ever enlighten you as to why she left Major Case?"

Penny looked at him, "No."

"Ne neither."

"She never told you?"

"Nope. One day she was there and the next day...she was gone."

"Did you hit on her?"

"What?" he exclaimed, offended by the insinuation. "No, I did not hit on her!"

"Maybe that's why she left," she winked. "She was expecting the Logan treatment."

"Despite popular misconception, Penny, I don't hit on all my female partners."

"Oh, so I was special then?" she teased.

"What do you think? You were the love of my life, you still are." Her smile faded slightly and he inwardly chastised himself.

_Of all the stupid things to say..._

"Sorry, I know I said I wouldn't..."

"No," she interrupted him, "no, it's...it's nice to hear, even after all these years. What's the point in pretending that we don't have a past together? Truth is, you're the only man I've ever been in love with, but I think you know that...or at least you should."

_Oh Pen..._

"I knew it when we were together," he said softly. "I wasn't so sure about afterwards." When he had thought about her, he had somehow assumed that she had found someone else...that he would have been easy for her to forget, but maybe that wasn't the truth after all.

She cleared her throat. "Your partner seemed surprised when you told her who I was. Have you never talked about being married?"

"It just never seemed to be anybody's business," Mike said. "Besides, you tell people you're divorced, then they want to know why and...you know how it is."

"Yeah, I know how it is," she agreed as the waitress set down their drinks. "It would take hours explaining our reasons to someone who hadn't been there." She looked at him expectantly again and he knew exactly what she wanted him to say. Then, she reached across the table and laid her hand over his and the familiar warmth of her touch flooded his body. But, with it, came the same old feelings, the voice in his head screaming at him that it was just something he couldn't talk about...couldn't bring himself to even think about and he felt that part of his brain instantly shut down in self-preservation.

"I can't," he said after a long moment.

Penny drew her hand back, the barely disguised hope in her eyes instantly fading and plucked at the stem of her wine glass. "I guess I had hoped that after all this time you might..."

_Woah...not talking about this..nope...no way...STOP!_

"No," he shook his head, almost more to convince himself than her. "Besides, there was only one reason we split and it involved me, Kevin Crossley and an ill-timed punch to the face."

_I've said it often enough over the years so it has to be the truth..._

She stared at him, the hurt in her expression almost unbearable. "You're really still going to do this?" He said nothing. "Really...? Ok, well...I _can't_ do this again, Mike, ok? I spent so long...I just can't." Getting to her feet, she lifted her coat and swung it around her shoulders.

"Wait..." he stood up. "Where are you going?"

"Home," she said. "Thank you for the drinks, but I need to go."

"Penny..." he threw some notes down on the table and hurried after her as she fled the bar, grabbing her arm when they got outside and swinging her back to face him. "Hang on a minute!"

"So much for promising not to grab me!" she exclaimed, wrenching herself loose from his grip.

"I'm sorry," he said stepping back, "I didn't mean..."

"No, you never do!" She shook her head. "Eleven years, Mike. Eleven years and you _still_ can't bring yourself to talk about her? You still can't bring yourself to admit that losing her was what pushed us towards our divorce..."

"No!" he railed defensively at her in response before she could say any more. "It had _nothing_ to do with that and _everything_ to do with Crossley!"

Penny threw her hands up in obvious despair. "Listen to yourself...!"

"When I got busted to Staten Island, _that_ was when it all started to fall apart," he insisted. "There I was, chasing stolen lawnmowers and there you were, still solving homicides! I couldn't accept that! I couldn't accept that I had screwed up my career! I was angry..."

"Ok...ok you keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better! If you want to pretend that it was all about that, then you go ahead! You've never been able to see it any differently, so why start now? But I'm _done_ having this same old argument with you, ok Mike? I'm _done_!"

"So you're just going to walk away from me again, is that it?" he called after her as she started to cross the street. "Good old, predictable Penny. Still doing the same thing she did nine years ago!"

Her face contorted with fury, Penny turned and strode back towards him, pushing him roughly on the chest. "Don't you _dare_ put all that on me! Don't you dare! For the record, I didn't walk away from you, you pushed me!"

"That's a load of crap..."

"You pushed me!" she repeated. "You pushed me and you _know_ you did! When all I ever wanted to do was talk to you about what happened! To talk to you about her!"

_Shut up about her...!_

"Stop it!"

"Are you ever going to accept the truth, Mike? Are you ever going to accept that what happened with Crossley was part of a much bigger thing?"

Mike sighed heavily. It was like déjà-vu. She was right. They had had the same argument so many times after it happened and every time they had both said the same things. He had just forgotten what it was like to stand there and actually fight about it in person as opposed to reliving it in his head.

_Maybe...maybe she's got a point..._

"Penny..."

"No, you're not. And you want to know why you're not? Because you _like_ the persona you have because of Crossley. You _like_ being the cop that stuck it to that asshole because other cops think you're some big hero!"

_Oh my God..._

"That is _not_ true!"

"Yes it is!"

"Do you know how much shit I've had to take for that one moment?!" he said, outraged. "I spent ten years, _ten years_ on Staten Island for Christ's sake!"

Penny stepped backwards away from him. "Yeah well...I guess it's easier to bury your head in the sand and pretend rather than face up to reality. So you just keep doing that, Mike. I hope it makes you very happy."

"Penny!"

"Screw you, ok?" she yelled as she crossed the street, clearly not caring who heard her. "Screw you!"

Mike watched her go, like he felt he had so many times before, and wondered how it could have gone from a pleasant conversation in congenial surroundings to a screaming match in the street. His conscience pricked him, the way it always did when he was forced to think about the past.

_You know why..._

"Bitch," he said unkindly, then immediately regretted it as his phone started to ring in his pocket. Sighing, he pulled it out. "Logan."

"It's Ross," his captain said. "I'm sorry to bother you so late but I've just had a call from the Chief of D's and even though we've to take primary on the murder..."

"They want a joint investigation with the task force."

Ross paused, "How did you...?"

This was going to be a nightmare. "Let's just say, I got my sources."


	7. Chapter 7

The following morning, Penny arrived early at Major Case before any of the others. The squad room was quiet with even Ross's office standing empty. Nobody gave her a second look as she walked in and she couldn't help but think that if she'd been a mad gunman, none of them would have stood a chance. As it was, she welcomed the solitude and quickly found a vacant room in which to set out her wares.

The file she had was thick and bulging. Despite Mike's assertions that the task force couldn't know any more about Madison Harley and Joey Rand than they did, Penny was more than prepared to prove him wrong and she began the painstaking process of affixing photographs and documents to the cork board until she had before her a full visual testimony to her last few months work. It was satisfying to see it all laid out, but it would be even more satisfying when they had the baby back and some bodies in lock up. Then it would be worth all those hours spent trying to avoid Pete Miller. The customary shiver went through her at the thought of him. He had called her twice the previous evening after she had left Mike and once that morning. She had ignored all the calls.

When she had finished, she made herself a coffee and wandered, somewhat curiously, over to Mike's desk. It was pretty bare with no photos or personal effects and only a pot of pens and a stack of files sat at one corner. Looking at it, she wasn't sure what she had expected. A photograph from a marriage long since over? Strangely, it reminded her so much of her own cubicle back at the task force and she could hear Carolyn's words in her ear from one of the conversations they'd had in passing.

_The less personal effects you have on your desk, the less people ask questions._

Given's Mike's revelation that she had left Major Case with no real explanation, Penny found herself curious as to the reason. He had been adamant that nothing had happened between them and yet Carolyn was so difficult to read that Penny wouldn't have ruled out _something_ happening. At that thought, she felt her stomach flip over. Knowing he had been with other women was one thing, but thinking that one of them might be someone she knew...someone she worked with...well that was another.

Her gaze was suddenly attracted by a figure coming in to the squad room and looking around. With a wry smile, she recognised Lewis Petrelli, a rookie if ever she'd seen one and, focusing her mind back to the task in hand, went over to greet him.

XXXX

As the lift slowly moved skywards towards the squad room, Mike thought about what he was going to say when he saw Penny. In an ideal world, he didn't want to have to say anything to her. In an ideal world, the Chief of D's would have changed his mind overnight and declared that Major Case, and Major Case alone, would continue with the investigation into Maya-Rose's disappearance. But this wasn't an ideal world and, as he walked towards his desk, his attention was drawn to one of the side rooms where he could see Penny, and a man he didn't recognise, staring at a board covered in photographs. She had her back to him so, thankfully, he was able to make it to his desk without challenge.

He had drunk half a bottle of scotch when he had finally gotten home the previous night. Not because he particularly wanted it, not because it tasted particularly good, but because it helped. It helped him deal with the feelings that being with her again had brought up. Not the sexual ones, but more the emotional ones. The _thing_ that she had alluded to...the _thing_ that he couldn't talk about...it helped dull the ache that he had spent so long carefully trying to conceal.

Six weeks after they had started sleeping together, he had told Penny about his mother and Father Joe. He could remember the look on her face as she had sat there on his couch, drinking scotch with him, letting him talk without interruption, an occasional tear slipping down her cheek. When he had finished and had looked to her for some sort of reaction, she had kissed him and embraced him and told him that it hadn't been his fault...none of it had been his fault...that it was all in the past. That he was a good person, a good cop and that, if he would let her, she would be there for him.

He had asked her to marry him the next day.

Turning around in his chair, he looked back towards the room and saw Penny, head bent over some papers, the man looking over her shoulder, and couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if she had gone home with him. Would they have sat and drank the scotch together? Would he have told her all the things that he knew she wanted to hear? Would he have been able to talk about her?

_Get a grip. You made your choice. You fucked it up._

"Morning," Megan said, jolting him back to reality. "I see Penny and her friend have made an early start."

"Good for them."

Megan looked at him, "Everything ok?"

"Oh yeah," he replied sarcastically. "Everything's great."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He was saved from an answer by a voice from behind. "Detectives Logan and Wheeler?" Mike looked up to find the man he had seen with Penny hovering by his desk. "I'm Lewis Petrelli." He shook hands with them both and Mike was surprised to realise that he looked no more than about twenty-five. "I'm on the task force with Penny. We're ready if you'd like to come inside."

"Show and tell," Mike said, as he got up to follow him.

"I'm sorry?"

"I said it's like show and tell." He stepped into the room and immediately locked eyes with Penny. She held his gaze for a fraction of a second and then turned to smile at Megan. "What's all this?" he asked, looking at the board.

"This is what I've been working on for the last few months," Penny said, closing the door behind them. "The task force have been monitoring Madison Harley and Joey Rand for some time now. Long before Maya-Rose was born."

"You think they're human traffickers?" Mike laughed in spite of himself.

She glared at him. "It's possible."

"You're not serious."

"Suspicions were raised at the lack of any photographs of Madison when she was allegedly pregnant," Penny continued, ignoring his comment. "Not one, from the time she announced her pregnancy to the time she brought that baby home to 5th Avenue."

"Some women don't like being photographed when they're pregnant," Megan said. "It's hardly a crime."

"We've also been monitoring her financial records and there have been several large payments made to a Laurie Whittaker in Ellenboro, North Carolina."

"That's where Madison's from?" Penny nodded. "Then it could be a family member."

"It is." She pointed to a photo of a blonde woman who looked very like Madison. "Laurie Whittaker is her cousin on her mother's side and she's received over half a million dollars from Madison, at regular intervals, from January of this year. When Madison first became famous, Laurie worked as her PA. They were regularly photographed together both here in New York, in LA and in Ellenboro. Since Madison's pregnancy announcement, there have been no photographs of Laurie."

"Meaning what?" Mike asked.

"Meaning, we think that Laurie's the one who was pregnant, not Madison."

He exchanged a look with Megan. "And...what...Madison bought her cousin's baby?"

"We believe so. There was a private jet that left Charlotte Douglas International Airport and landed at JFK three days before Maya-Rose was born. A blonde woman was seen leaving the plane and getting into this limo," she gestured to another picture, "which was then tracked to Madison's home address. The assumption was that it was Madison returning from her hometown in time to give birth. The limo is owned by Dean Manchero, Madison's manager."

"But you think the woman on the plane was actually Laurie?" Megan asked.

Penny nodded again. "There was no record that we could find of Madison having left New York in the days or weeks prior to this plane landing. Madison allegedly gave birth to Maya-Rose at home. The press was told that she didn't realise how far along in labor she was and that, by the time she did, it was too late to go to the hospital."

"So, there would be no record of Madison being at the hospital."

"Exactly, nor any witnesses who could say it was, or wasn't Madison."

"But there must have been medical professionals at the birth," Megan said. "Unless you're suggesting Joey Rand delivered the kid himself."

"From what we've gathered, Dean Manchero was there, as was the nanny, Paola Martinez and this gentleman," Penny tapped another picture. "Rick Heston, one of Madison's bodyguards."

"But no doctor?" Megan asked.

"No."

"Why would Madison Harley, a nineteen year old, fit, healthy, good-looking superstar, need to buy her cousin's baby?" Mike asked. "It doesn't make any sense. Why not just have one of her own? And why pass Joey Rand, of all people, off as the father? I can think of better candidates."

"Joey Rand _is_ the father, as far as we can tell," Penny said. "Our sources say that he was sleeping with Laurie, behind Madison's back, around the time she would have conceived the baby."

"Your sources being...?

"People close to the Madison camp."

"Now there's a tabloid line if ever I heard one."

"So, rather than dump her cheating boyfriend and cast out her cousin, Madison decides to take the child for herself," Megan said. "But why? What does she gain?"

"A ready-made baby," Penny said, "without needed to go through pregnancy or labor."

"No offence, but that sounds ridiculous."

"True," Penny admitted, "but nothing would surprise me. Alternatively, there might be something going on with Laurie herself. Maybe she couldn't keep the baby, needed money for something or someone and Madison offered the perfect solution, we're not sure.

"Ok," Mike said, "let's say for arguments sake that this is all true. Laurie sleeps with Joey, falls pregnant by him and enters into an agreement with Madison to sell her the baby. Who's taken the kid now and why kill the nanny?"

"That's where our friends in Narcotics come in," Penny said. "Joey Rand isn't his real name."

"Yeah, we worked that one out for ourselves yesterday."

"Well then you'll know that he's really Joseph Rodden and he has a number of priors for drug possession and distribution. One of his known associates is this guy," Penny pointed to another picture. "Henry Booker. Long record for drugs, violence and armed robbery. When Rodden was arrested in North Carolina in 2004, he fingered Booker and ended up with probation while Booker got three years. He was released on parole three weeks ago."

"You think he's looking for revenge?" Megan asked.

"It's one theory," Penny said.

Mike rolled his eyes, "You mean you have others?"

"It could be Laurie, or someone hired by her."

"But she's getting a payoff," Megan said, "why would she want to snatch the kid back?"

Penny glanced at Mike and then back at Megan, "Because she's her mother."

The door to the room suddenly opened and Ross appeared. "Sorry to interrupt, but there's been a hit on the canvas. A ticket officer claims she saw a young woman with a baby that might be Maya-Rose at Grand Central less than an hour ago."

"A baby's a baby," Mike said. "How can she be sure?"

"She can't, but it's the first sighting we've had."

"Great, thanks Captain," Penny said. "Wheeler, you and I'll go and check that out and then we should speak to Paola Martinez's family...see if they know anything. Petrelli, you and Logan go and pick up Joey Rand. See what he's got to say about his record and whether or not he thinks Booker could be involved in this, but don't mention our suspicions about Maya-Rose's parentage, not yet."

"I thought this was a joint investigation?" Mike said.

"It is."

"But you're in charge?"

Penny folded her arms and fixed him with a look as Megan and Lewis sidled out of the room. "Yes, actually I am. If you don't like it, feel free to take a walk. I'm sure I can get someone to cover for you."

"I think I can cope," he replied.

"You know..." she shook her head, "you have got absolutely no reason to be pissed at me, Mike."

"I'm not pissed at you," he replied, though his tone indicated otherwise.

Penny lifted her jacket from the back of the seat, "Then do us all a favour and cut the attitude."

XXXX

"I saw her coming down the stairs over there." Celeste Howard pointed a few feet away. "I see a lot of people coming and going around here but there was just something odd about it."

"Odd in what way?" Penny asked.

"She looked kinda nervous, like she was worried about being followed."

"Can you describe her?"

"Blonde hair, tied up in a ponytail, blue jeans, grey sweater and she had sunglasses on. I thought that was odd given the weather lately." Celeste paused. "She looked kinda familiar but..."

"Is this her?" Megan held up a photograph of Madison.

"That's that singer, isn't it? My granddaughter loves her records. No, it definitely wasn't her."

"What about her?" Penny handed her a photo of Laurie.

Celeste took it and studied it. "It might have been. I can't be sure."

"Was she carrying the baby in anything?"

"Yes, she had it in a car seat."

"You said she looked worried about being followed," Penny said. "Could you tell if anyone _was_ following her?"

"Not that I could see. But then she met up with a man over by that coffee stand."

"A man?"

"Yeah," Celeste nodded. "Older, kinda rough looking, brown hair..."

"What happened when they met up?" Megan asked.

"I'm sorry, I got customers at that point so I didn't see. Next time I looked up, they were gone."

"Ok, thanks for your help. We'll send over a sketch artist. Local PD should be able to confirm that Madison was at home this morning," Penny said as she and Megan walked away. "Assuming it wasn't her, we need to ascertain Laurie's whereabouts."

"You think she's still in the city?"

"We've been monitoring all the commercial flights out of JFK, La Guardia and Newark and she hasn't shown up on any of their manifests. Private planes are more difficult to track but there haven't been any flights between here and any airport in North Carolina in the last few days. We reckon she's still here."

"So, if it _was_ Maya-Rose that Celeste Howard saw, does that mean that Laurie's behind the whole thing?" Megan asked. "Is Booker a red herring?"

Penny sighed, "Honestly? I have no idea."

XXXX

"You're not doing yourself any favours here, Joey," Mike said, standing up and surveying the younger man from across the desk. They had picked him up from Madison's home where he had protested vigorously at being arrested but had yet to invoke his rights. Madison had, rather curiously, said nothing. "We know about your record. You might have changed your name but it doesn't erase your past."

"I had nothing to do with my daughter's disappearance," Joey insisted.

"Ok, but you know some pretty nasty people."

"Like who?"

"Henry Booker," Mike slid a mug shot of the other man across the table. Joey looked at it and said nothing. "You turned on him back in 2004. You walk away with probation and he gets three years. You don't think he might have been pissed at you?"

"Enough to kidnap my kid and...and kill her nanny?"

"Why not?"

"I..." Joey shook his head and pushed the photo back across the table. "That's crazy."

"Is it?"

"I haven't seen him since we got busted."

"He was released on parole a few weeks ago. Are you saying he hasn't come calling?"

"No."

"What about Madison's cousin, Laurie Whittaker?" Mike felt, rather than saw, Lewis tense in his seat and knew he was thinking about Penny's warning. "Has she been around much since Maya-Rose was born?"

Joey looked up, a momentary look of panic crossing his face. "Laurie? I...eh...I mean...no. No, she's...she's back in Ellenboro."

"She used to work as Madison's assistant," Mike continued. "She used to be photographed with her all the time, but not so much lately."

"Laurie didn't really like the limelight. She...she wanted to go back home..."

"You would have thought she'd want to hang around to support her cousin when she was pregnant, wouldn't you?" Mike looked at Lewis for support, but the kid was too green to realise what he was supposed to do and simply looked back at him. "I mean, what with them being so close." Joey didn't say anything. "What about you and Laurie?"

"Me?"

"Yeah, she's the same age as Madison, blonde, good-looking..."

"I never noticed."

"You never thought about, maybe, doing them both?"

"No!" Joey looked outraged. "I love Madison and Maya-Rose."

"Whose idea was it?" he ploughed on, ignoring Lewis's surreptitious cough.

Joey looked between them. "Whose idea was what?"

"To pass Maya-Rose off as Madison's daughter?"

To say Joey turned white would have been an understatement."Wh...what?"

"You heard me."

"I...I don't know what you're talking about," he looked wildly between them both. "She's our daughter...I..."

"You sure about that?" Mike asked. "You sure she's not yours and Laurie's?"

Joey paused and swallowed hard. "I want a lawyer."

XXXX

"Paola Martinez's family were distraught," Megan told Ross as she and Penny came back into the squad room. "They know very little about her work with Madison."

"How is that possible?" Ross asked.

"She obviously took the confidentiality clause in her contract very seriously," Penny replied. "Her husband claimed she never talked about it."

"Isn't it a little odd accepting a live-in position when you've got a husband and children of your own at home?"

"It was a well-paid position. Her family live in a nice house in a nice neighbourhood." They stopped walking as Mike and Lewis approached them. "How did it go with Joey?"

"He lawyered up," Mike replied.

"Right when we asked him whether or not Laurie was Maya-Rose's mother," Lewis added helpfully.

Penny's eyes narrowed, "What?"

Mike shrugged, "What?"

"What the hell did you think you were doing?! I told you _not_ to say anything to him about Laurie!"

"Well the interview was going nowhere and I saw the opportunity to shake him up a little!"

"To the point where he immediately invoked?" Penny raged. "By the end of the day, everyone involved in this scam is going to know that we're onto them! Well done, sterling work Detective!"

"Hey, you know _we_ are primary for the murder, ok? Major Case, not the task force. Now whatever scam he's got going, it led to Paola Martinez getting her head bashed in and that's _my_ case, not yours!"

"Jesus, you're pathetic!"

" _I'm_ pathetic? I'm not the one who comes walking in here like the Goddamn Chief of Detectives himself...!"

"Detectives!" Ross's voice boomed out, causing them both to fall silent. "This is the Major Case squad room not a Tribeca playground..." he glared at them both, a slip of paper in his hand. "Detective Fletcher, apparently your Lieutenant is waiting for you in my office."

Penny looked up towards his office and saw Pete Miller standing just inside the door, a slight smile playing around the corners of his mouth. He had his hands thrust into his pockets, a lock of his fair hair swooping over his forehead. _Think's he's God's fucking gift,_ she thought to herself. It was almost inconceivable that she had, at one point, thought he was attractive. As though each step was taking her closer to her doom, she walked into the office and stood in front of him.

"Captain, can we have the room?" Penny looked around at Ross who had followed them inside, wishing she could beg him to refuse Miller's request. But he merely nodded and left them to it, closing the door behind him. "I called you twice last night and once this morning and you don't see fit to call me back?"

"I'm sorry," she said. "It's been a crazy few hours."

"So I see..." he walked to the door of the office and looked out through the glass to where Mike, Megan and Lewis were standing at the former's desk. "Is this how the two of you get off?"

Penny frowned, "Excuse me?"

"You and your ex," Miller turned back to face her. "You fight like that in public and then make up in private?"

"Not that it's any of your business, _sir,_ but no."

"Hmmm..." he walked back over and stood in front of her. "I've always liked a woman with a bit of fire in her, you know that."

She swallowed hard, "Was there something you wanted to discuss?"

"Yeah...I was thinking that this case maybe doesn't need someone of your...expertise. I was thinking I should ask Carolyn to take over."

"What? This is my case! I've worked hard on this..."

"Penny, Penny, Penny..." he shook his head, "You know as well I do that this is a team effort. Besides, it's clearly making you stressed." Reaching out, he put his hand on her arm. "It's not like you to lose control like I just witnessed. Maybe you'd be better working on something else. Something less...emotive." Torn between wanting to come across as professional when others could see her and the desperate urge to punch him in the face, Penny stepped back out of his reach. "You know you can always talk to me if you're feeling overwhelmed. Remember, we go way back...I'm good at helping you relax."

"You're an asshole," she said through gritted teeth. Part of her wanted him to call her out, shout at her, hit her, do something that would mean all of this could suddenly come out into the open. Instead, he just laughed.

"You know...you can say whatever you like. You can call me every name under the sun, but don't forget that I'm your Lieutenant. You work for _me._ " He buttoned up his jacket, "And I don't think I have to remind you that, back then, you wanted it and you know you did. I'll keep you on this case for now, but make sure you pick up when I call." With that, he left her alone in the office, tipping the nod to the others as he walked by but not, thankfully, seeking to engage any of them in conversation.

Penny let out a long shuddering breath and fought down the urge to scream. Mike was watching her from his desk, his expression a mixture of curiosity and puzzlement. In spite of herself, she gave him a half smile and couldn't help but think that maybe they both had things they just couldn't talk about.


	8. Chapter 8

"So what was the cause of death?" Megan asked, looking down at the now still body of Paola Martinez.

"Blunt force trauma to the head," ME Elizabeth Rogers replied, washing her hands in the nearby sink. "My best guess is, he punched her to the face a few times, got her on the ground and then caved in her skull with the nearest thing he could find."

"CSU found blood on a bronze statue in the hallway," Megan said. "Blood and hair that matched Paola's."

"There's your murder weapon then."

"But...she didn't die right away." They both turned to where Lewis was standing at the door, looking decidedly green around the gills. "I mean, she was taken to hospital and she was ok, right?"

"Well, not exactly ok," Rogers replied. "She had a slow, intra-cranial bleed. That's what ultimately killed her."

Megan looked down at the body again. "Before we could really talk to her...no sign of any other injuries?"

"Nope and no sexual assault either."

"So, this was about getting her out of the way to get to the baby," she mused. "Any DNA recovered from any of her wounds?"

"Sorry, the hospital cleaned her up when they were treating her. Anything that might have been there is long gone. But there is this..." Rogers pointed to one of the marks on Paola's face. "There's an outline of a shape on the wound on her cheekbone."

Megan leaned in and looked where she was pointing. "It looks like an S. Something he used when he punched her?"

"Maybe," Rogers said, "or from something he was wearing?"

"Like a ring?"

"Could be."

"Ok, thanks." Megan made her way out of the room, Lewis trailing in her wake. "You ok?"

"Uh...yeah," he said, "I just...don't really like that part. You know, dealing with the dead bodies."

"Is this your first posting since you made Detective?" she asked curiously. He nodded. "What made you apply to the task force?"

"My father," he replied. "I'm hoping to follow him into politics."

"Politics?"

"Yeah, he's a Senator. I guess he figured this would be good experience for me. I'm learning a lot, especially from Penny. She's really great to work with."

"You two been partnered up for long?"

"Just a couple of weeks," he replied. "The Lieutenant usually likes to keep her to himself."

Megan frowned, "The Lieutenant?"

Lewis nodded, "Apparently they worked together before the task force. He really seems to like her."

Thinking back on how Penny had acted when Miller had come to the squad room, Megan couldn't help but think that it had been clear he liked her a lot more than she liked him. She wondered if Mike had picked up on it. He hadn't said anything, but something had clearly happened between him and Penny, something that went beyond their argument over the interview.

"What now?" Lewis asked, jolting her back to the task in hand.

"Now we look at the camera footage...see if we can get any stills of the woman with the baby."

XXXX

Mike had just purchased his burger and fries from the canteen, found a table and was about to start eating, when he looked up and saw Penny hovering a few feet away from him, her own lunch tray in her hands. They looked at each other for a long moment before she seemed to make up her mind and walked over to join him. Without saying anything, she set her tray down, sat down opposite him and began sprinkling salt over what looked suspiciously like some lettuce leaves.

"What _is_ that?" he asked, after a moment of silence.

"A salad," she replied.

"Salad?" He made a face. "I remember the days when you were a surf 'n' turf kind of girl."

"I still am." She eyed his plate almost enviously before starting on her own food. "So...what do we do now?"

"About us or about this case?"

"About the case."

"You asking my opinion?" he took a mouthful of burger. "I didn't think you rated it much."

"What's done is done," she said dismissively. "Joey may have lawyered up but I think we should take another run at him, see if we can't get him to give us something on this scam. See who he's more loyal to, Madison or Laurie. Then we should go and speak to Madison herself."

Her suggestion surprised him. "We?"

Penny looked at him, "Yes, we. From memory, we used to be pretty good in interrogations together when we were working off the same page. Is that ok with you?"

"Fine," he replied, trying to keep his mind out of the gutter. He wasn't sure that table at the 2-7 had ever really recovered from a bit of late night...interrogating. "Anything's got to be better than having to go around with Petrelli. Where the hell did you guys find him anyway?"

"His father's a US senator. I reckon this is just a stop-gap for him on his way to Washington." She licked dressing from her finger. "He's not a bad kid really. Do you know if we got anywhere with the camera footage from the station?"

"I asked Wheeler to have a look at it when she got back from the ME's office, see if they can pull any stills that might help identify who had the kid. If it even was Maya-Rose. You know as well as I do that one baby looks like another."

"If we get stills we can put them to Joey. She's his kid so he should be able to identify her if it _was_ her."

"Father knows his own child, huh?"

Penny met his gaze. "Exactly." She swallowed another forkful of leaves. "I like her."

"Who?"

"Your partner, Wheeler."

"I'm sure she'll be honoured by your approval." Mike looked at her. "She reminds me a lot of what you used to be like, you know."

Penny paused, "Me?"

"Yeah," he shrugged. "She's young, idealistic, keen..."

"And, what, I'm old, jaded and unenthused?"

"No," he chuckled. "She just reminds me of the old days."

"Hmmm...the days _after_ you'd gotten over your dislike of me or before?"

"Hey, give me a break. I had a tough time with partners back then if you remember. Max, Phil, then Lennie before you showed up. Not to mention the fact you were fighting off Ben Stone's advances at the time."

Penny snorted, "We had _one_ dinner together. You and your imagination had it as much more than it really was."

"Yeah well, I was jealous."

"Yeah well..." she mimicked him. "You had no need to be."

He looked at her for a long moment, "I'm sorry about last night."

"Forget it."

"Yeah, but..."

"Seriously, Mike," she met his gaze. "Forget it. We've both wasted far too much time in our lives fighting over something that neither of us is ever going to cave on. Perhaps it's best that we just leave the past where it is."

Before he could say anything further, Ross approached the table. "You'll be pleased to hear that Joey Rand's lawyer is here and, from what I can tell, he's definitely not paid for by legal aid."

XXXX

"My client is not making any statements," Joey's lawyer said when Mike and Penny entered the interrogation room.

"Well he can sit and listen to us then," Mike said, looking the brief up and down. Ross hadn't been wrong. The suit the guy was wearing probably cost more than his whole month's salary. He settled himself next to Joey on the opposite side of the table and fixed Mike with a look of disdain. "We believe that Maya-Rose isn't Madison Harley's daughter, Joey. We believe that she's _your_ daughter but that her mother is actually Madison's cousin, Laurie Whittaker."

"That's crap," Joey said.

"Don't say anything Joey," the lawyer said. "I told you, he won't be making any statements."

"Well he just did," Penny said, "so we'll carry on, if you don't mind."

"Why is it crap, Joey?" Mike asked.

"Because it is. Madison's her mother."

"Is this your daughter?" Mike slid a still from the CCTV cameras at Grand Central across the table. It showed a woman with fair hair with a child in a white car seat. As far as he was concerned, it really could be any kid, but the look that fleetingly crossed Joey's face told him all he needed to know. "It is, isn't it?"

"I...I'm not sure..."

"How you can possibly expect him to tell whether that child is Maya-Rose or not is beyond comprehension."

"I think you are sure," Mike pressed on. "I think you know it's her. And the girl..." he tapped the photograph, "that's Laurie, isn't it?"

"No."

"Come on Joey, we know all about it," Penny jumped in. "The plan you all dreamed up. You, Madison, Laurie...you got Laurie pregnant but she didn't want the baby so she sold her to Madison..."

"She _did_ want her!" Joey exclaimed. "How can you say that? She wanted her so much..."

"Joey, that's enough!"

"Why didn't Laurie keep the baby then?" Penny asked. "What was preventing her from raising her? Did she need money?" Joey looked away. "Is that why she asked Madison to take her, so that she could get money for her?"

"It wasn't like that..."

"What was it like then?"

"Laurie...she wanted the baby but..." he shook his head, "Laurie owed money...a lot of money and Madison said..."

"Joey, I'd advise you not to say anything further..."

"I want to tell them!" he exclaimed

"I think he wants to tell us," Mike said.

"I can't advise you strongly enough..."

"You know, Joey...I'm betting Madison's paying for this lawyer," Penny said. "Maybe you better think about whether or not she's got your best interests at heart here." He looked at her. "The three of you are potentially all on the block for this. Laurie, well she's the mother of the kid so she's going to get a lot of sympathy. As for Madison...she's famous. But you..."

The lawyer leaned in, "Joey..."

"Shut up!" Joey put his hands over his face. "My daughter's missing! I...Ok, ok...it was all his idea."

"All whose idea?"

"Dean Manchero's," Joey replied. "Laurie getting pregnant was a mistake. I cheated on Madison _once_...she was going to keep the baby but then Booker..."

"Henry Booker?" Mike asked.

Joey nodded. "When I got busted with him two years ago...some drugs went missing."

"How much?"

"About six grams. Booker reckoned the local PD had taken it. I don't know if that was true, but...he was pissed, really pissed and he called me from jail and threatened me that if I didn't pay him the money he would have got for the drugs, he was going to hurt me or my family. I managed to put him off for a while but then...then he found out that Laurie was pregnant and he threatened her and the baby. I...I didn't know what to do..."

"You said earlier that it was Laurie that owed the money," Mike said.

"No, it was me. I didn't have the kind of money that he was looking for and Madison...she was so pissed when she found out I'd cheated on her with Laurie that she said she wouldn't help us. But then Manchero...he said that Madison should give us the money but, in exchange, we had to give her the baby."

"Why would she even want the baby?"

"I don't know, but she said she would pay Laurie for her, Laurie would pay Booker and that...that was the arrangement."

"So it _was_ Laurie that gave birth in Madison's house," Penny said.

"We couldn't risk going to the hospital. Paola...she delivered her."

"So she was in on it too?"

"She didn't want to be, but Manchero made sure she got well paid for it..." Joey shook his head. "It was all going fine until..."

"Until Maya-Rose was taken," Penny said. "Do you know anything about that?"

"I don't," Joey said, "I swear. We went to the party and when we came back, Paola was all messed up and Maya-Rose was gone."

"He's co-operated with you," the lawyer said. "And from what he's told you, I don't see what law he's broken."

"He sold his kid," Mike said.

"He didn't receive any money. Ms Whittaker did and, apparently, passed it along to Mr Booker. This is nothing more than a private adoption and _that_ is not against the law."

"This was _not_ an adoption," Penny said. "An adoption would have been Laurie's name on the birth certificate followed by a legal transfer of custody to Madison."

"Well it isn't child trafficking either," the lawyer said. "The child was given to Madison Harley to be cared for, not to be kept in servitude so you're going nowhere with that."

"He can be charged with participating in a scheme to defraud, second degree."

"A class A misdemeanour, _if_ you can get it to stick. He'll pay a fine at most. Come on Joey," the lawyer said, getting to his feet, "I think we're done here."

"He's right," Mike said when they had left the room. "It's not human trafficking no matter which way you dress it up. Maybe the task force's involvement was a little...misguided?" Penny didn't say anything. "Look, I'm not trying to bust your ass..."

"I know," she said. "Miller was just so keen for me to take this on..." she shook her head. "First day I started he had me working on it to the exclusion of every other investigation..." she sighed and rubbed her hands over her face. "There's still the abduction and the murder."

"Yeah...you believe him when he said he didn't know anything about it?"

"Actually, I did. But I still think Laurie's favourite to have taken her. She would have had access to the house without question...the nanny would never have suspected her..."

"Look at this." Megan came into the room, holding a piece of paper aloft in her hand. "We couldn't find any camera footage of the guy Celeste referred to, but we just got this from the sketch artist."

"Who?" Mike asked.

"Celeste Howard. The woman at Grand Central who reported the sighting." Megan put the paper on the desk. "This is the guy she said she saw the girl meet up with. Look familiar?"

Mike squinted at it, "Well, it may not be an exact likeness but..."

"It's Rick Heston," Megan said. "Madison's bodyguard."

"Great," Penny said. "Let's pick him up."

XXXX

"You do remember that _I'm_ supposed to be your partner, don't you?" Megan asked Mike as he pressed the button for the lift.

Confused, he turned to look at her, "What are you talking about?"

"Well, I keep getting stuck with Petrelli," she said, glancing around to make sure he wasn't within earshot. "Mr Senator wannabe."

"I figured you'd enjoy spending time with someone nearer your own age, not to mention someone you can boss around."

"Come on Logan..."

"Come on what?" he asked. "Wheeler...you're not jealous, are you?"

"No!" she insisted, "I'm just saying."

"Well if you want, I'll let you interview Madison with Penny when we get back. She might react better to a female approach anyway."

"Fine," Megan said magnanimously. "But you definitely owe me a drink after all this is over."

The lift doors pinged open and he stepped inside. "Oh, trust me. Penny owes us _all_ a drink after this is over." When he arrived in the lobby he caught sight of Penny disappearing into the female restroom, so he headed outside into the fresh air to wait for her. For some reason, she had insisted in _not_ parking her car in the underground garage and had instead left it on the street at a cost of God only knew how much. The sun had almost set and the wind was bitterly cold, but the lights of the city were twinkling in the dusk and the sight of it always gave him a lift, in the same way that they had depressed him all those years travelling to and from Staten Island.

"It's Detective Logan, isn't it?"

At the sound of his name, Mike turned around and recognised Penny's boss leaning against the wall of the building behind him. To say he was surprised to find him there was an understatement and he glanced around hoping to see Penny follow him out, but there was no sign of her. "Uh...yeah," he replied. "Lieutenant Miller?"

"Pete," he stepped forward, hand outstretched.

He returned the gesture, "Mike."

"Good to finally put a face to the name. Penny's talked a lot about you."

Mike frowned. Given the atmosphere he had witnessed earlier, Miller was the last person he would have expected Penny to have talked about _anything_ with. "She has?"

"Back in the day," Miller said, as though reading his mind. He took out a cigarette and held out the packet, but Mike shook his head in refusal. "She worked for me in Vice in 2003. She was a good officer back then." He lit up and blew smoke into the wind.

He didn't miss the backhanded smear.

_What an asshole._

"She's a good officer now."

"Oh, sure, sure...but she was a pretty sexy undercover whore back then." He grinned conspiratorially and raised his eyebrows. "I'm sure you know what I mean. Miniskirt, thigh high boots, tube top..." He shook his head and laughed as though enjoying the memory. "Hottest woman I'd seen in a long time...and she knew it."

_Jesus, you are such a prick..._

Mike glanced behind him again, wishing that Penny would hurry up. The conversation was starting to make him uncomfortable and if Miller didn't shut his mouth, he knew he was in danger of shutting it for him, which was probably not a smart move, given his history. Something told him that punching a senior officer might be worth more than ten years on Staten Islan.

"You know," Miller said lowering his voice. "She told me about what happened between you and I wanted to offer you my condolences."

"What?"

"I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss," he pressed on. "Penny told me all about it. She was pretty upset...who wouldn't be...I like to think that I gave her the shoulder to cry on she was needing at that time and let her burn off a little...frustration." He raised his eyebrows again. "I got to tell you, that little birthmark she's got on the top of her thigh, right next to her goods...who would have guessed something like that could be such a turn on?"

_What the actual fuck...?_

"Really..." Mike struggled to hold back his fury, thrusting his hands into his pockets to prevent himself from grabbing the jerk by his jacket and throwing him across the plaza. If he had been in any doubt as to what Penny's boss was alluding to before, he certainly wasn't now. Something had obviously happened between them and he couldn't help but query what had happened to her taste over the years.

Miller laughed and dropped his cigarette on the ground, stubbing it out with his shoe, clearly aware that he had riled him. "Anyway, it was good to finally meet you, Mike. We seem to have so much in common. No doubt we'll be running into each other again soon, especially over this investigation." He held out his hand again, but this time Mike ignored it. With a final grin, Miller turned and started to walk away, a noticeable swagger in his step.

Mere moments later, Mike heard the sound of approaching footsteps behind him and, turning, saw Penny walking towards him, clearly oblivious as to what had just transpired.

"Ready to go?" she asked.

"Oh yeah, sure," he replied, avoiding her gaze.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing," he said tightly.

Penny frowned. "Well something clearly is. You were fine ten minutes ago. Did something happen whilst I was in the restroom?"

_Keep cool...keep cool...she's not your wife anymore...if she wants to screw around with her boss, that's her choice..._

"That depends."

"On what?"

"On whether you call your boss telling me all about the sexual relationship you had with him _'back in the day'_ as something."

Penny froze, "What did you say?"

"Oh yeah, Miller couldn't wait to tell me all about it," Mike continued, aware he sounded like a jilted lover but not really caring. "How you were the hottest thing in a miniskirt he'd seen in years. How he was a shoulder for you to cry on when you got upset about our divorce. How you told him _everything_ about what had happened...how he helped you work out your _frustrations_..." He shook his head in something he would have liked to have said was disgust but was, in all probability, more jealousy. "I know we were divorced, Penny, I know we _are_ divorced but...Jesus, he was your Captain!"

Her face turned chalk white. "You think that he and I..."

"Well is it not true?" As soon as the words were out of his mouth he realised that he didn't want to know the answer, didn't really want to think about her with anyone, least of all a creep like Miller. "Forget it," he said, turning to walk on towards where she had left her car.

"No," Penny said, hurrying to catch up with him. "No, I won't forget it! What exactly did he say to you?"

"Let's just say he knew all about certain parts of your body, parts that only I and whomever else you'd slept with would know about."

" _What?"_

"That little birthmark you've got," he said, visualising it in his mind even as he spoke. "At the top of your thigh next to your...what was his word...your _goods_? A real turn on for him, apparently."

"Oh my God..."

"I thought you might have had a little more respect for yourself." Mike stopped and turned to look at her again. "The woman I knew would never have jumped into bed with her senior officer, especially not one like him!"

"You...!" Without warning, Penny lashed out and slapped him hard across the face, tears of anger springing into her eyes. "I'm the same woman I was back then, Mike! You _know_ me! Yes, I may have told him things about us, about our past...things I wish to _God_ I had kept to myself, but for you to honestly believe that I would _willingly_ sleep with him...God, how can you...how can you even think..."

In reeling from the sharp sting of her attack, Mike missed her first few phrases but one word jumped out at him from her relentless diatribe...one word...

_Oh God, no..._

"Wait...willingly?"

Penny paused in mid flow, "What?"

"You asked how I could believe that you would _willingly_ sleep with him." She met his gaze, her eyes wide and swimming with tears...she opened her mouth as if to say something then stopped and, suddenly, he felt his blood run cold. "Penny...did he...?"

"I...I don't want to talk about it," she said, ducking her head and turning back in the direction of 1PP, all thoughts of berating him further suddenly forgotten.

"Penny..." he reached out and took hold of her arm. "Look at me."

"No!"

"Look at me!" he gripped her by both upper arms and turned her to face him. She struggled momentarily against him but he held her tightly, watching as the tears spilled down her cheeks and wishing to God he had punched Miller when he'd had the chance. "Something happened, didn't it?"

"No..."

"Tell me what happened."

"There's nothing to tell...nothing happened...he's just lying...he..."

_I'm going to kill him...I'm going to fucking kill him...!_

"If you didn't sleep with him willingly then how does he know about your birthmark?" He demanded. "Why would he say...?"

"Mike, please...I can't...I can't talk about this..."

"Did he...did he rape you?" The very word made bile rise up in his throat and he waited, hoping, praying that she would deny it...say it wasn't true...that he was crazy for even thinking it. But she didn't. She just...looked at him and he saw the look that he had seen so many times over the years from so many different victims. That look of fear, mingled with mistrust, mingled with...relief? "Penny...please, please just tell me the truth...did he rape you?"

Penny paused for a long moment...and then nodded.


	9. Chapter 9

**Manhattan – February 2003**

It really wasn't the weather for this kind of operation, Penny thought as she shivered in the biting night wind. A leather miniskirt, a halter top and a faux fur jacket were not the typical staples of a New York wardrobe for this time of year, unless you were a hooker, which is what she was pretending to be. This was the third night in a row she'd been out undercover and so far, there was no sign of the john who liked to cut the girls. She'd only been in Vice for three months and this was the first time she'd been given the opportunity to take on a case as big as this.

"I reckon you'd look pretty good out there," her captain, Pete Miller, had said to her when he had briefed her about the role. "Long as you remember you're a cop and not there to make money." She had rolled her eyes at him and reminded him she was a professional and then he had given her that look. With his fair hair and blue eyes she had to admit he was a pretty good-looking guy and it had been a long time since anyone had given her any kind of 'look.'

Further down the street, her attention was drawn to a black sedan that had just pulled up alongside one of the other girls. A quick glance at the license plate revealed it wasn't the car they were looking for and, as she watched, the girl bent down to look in the window and then opened the door to jump inside.

"What a life..." she muttered to herself, grateful that she had been able to make better choices for herself. The thought of having to do this full time made her shiver even more than the cold night air. Glancing at her watch, she saw that it was after midnight. Miller had said to give until 1am and then call it a night, but Penny was frustrated that they hadn't made more progress. Four girls had already been admitted to hospital with terrible knife injuries and she couldn't help but feel that she owed it to them to stand there as long as possible.

As she shivered and stamped her feet, a car rounded the corner to her right and slowly cruised its way to her position. For a brief second, her body froze wondering, not for the first time, if this could be him. As the car drew closer and stopped, however, she relaxed, recognising the occupant.

"You looking for business?" she joked, walking over to the open window and leaning against the door.

"If I was, you'd be the one I'd come to," Miller said. "How's it going?"

"Nothing," she replied. "I guess I must be getting too old to get picked up. I've only had two cars stop tonight."

"Well the sight of a badge is enough to put most men off their game," he winked at her.

"Not you, obviously."

"Well I figured it would be rude not to at least stop and ask how you were. You look cold."

"I _am_ cold."

"You want to call it a night?"

"You said to wait until 1am."

"I know I did," he replied, "but what kind of captain would I be if I didn't look out for my officers, especially ones willing to stand outside in their underwear on a freezing February night?"

"Well that's very good of you," she replied, "but I think I'd like to give it another hour."

"Ok," he nodded. "I'll swing by at 1am and pick you up."

As he drove on, Penny couldn't help but think that the entire conversation had been more befitting partners than captain and detective. But that seemed to be Miller's style. He was a friend to his detectives as well as a boss. Coming from what she'd known before, it wasn't exactly unwelcome, but she had seen the way he cast his eye over her female colleagues, not to mention any woman who ventured into the squad room for any reason. In a way...a very small way...he reminded her of what Mike had been like when she'd first met him. A good time boy, a player. She remembered how he had rubbed her up the wrong way so many times in those first few weeks, before she had seen what he was really like underneath all the bravado.

She wondered what he would think about her standing out here ostensibly touting for business. He probably wouldn't like it, or at least wouldn't have liked it if she had still been his wife. He had always been protective of her, a fact that had made it difficult for them to be partners in the end and why Van Buren had switched them out. In a way, she missed that, missed him, even all these years later.

1am came and went and there was no sign of their perp. True to his word, Miller picked her up and took her back to the squad room where the rest of the detectives assigned to the case had gathered. He gave them all a pep talk about how well they were doing with the investigation and that, although they hadn't found their guy, no-one appeared to have been attacked that night and that was a win. Penny listened to him, to the easy way he spoke to them and thought, not for the first time, what a good captain he was.

"You heading home?" he asked, coming over to her desk as the others slowly started to disperse.

"Yeah," she replied. "I think I could use a hot bath."

"I don't blame you. Reckon I need something like that myself." He paused. "Will you be ok?"

"Of course," she looked at him, "why wouldn't I be?"

"Well you live alone, don't you?"

"Yeah…"

"I just wanted to make sure you'd feel ok going home by yourself, that's all."

She laughed, "Captain, I've worked here three months, and this is the first time you've shown any concern about my getting home safe."

"Don't say I don't care," he had said, pointing mockingly at her. She had laughed again and made her own way home, but with a nice feeling inside that _someone_ seemed to care.

XXXX

Three days later, they caught the perp in the act of attempting to slash another prostitute. Penny had been around the corner when she had heard the screams and, running as fast as her high heels had allowed, she had arrived in time to pull the man off of his next intended victim and subdue him until other officers had arrived. It had been satisfying, pinning him to the ground whilst he struggled, knowing that he couldn't get out of her grip and even more so when the sound of metal handcuffs being applied had crunched through the air. The girl in question had been in shock, trembling, shaking and crying and Penny had ridden with her to the hospital and taken her statement before heading back to the house where the squad were in a jubilant mood.

"Drinks are on me!" Pete declared and they all decamped to the local cops bar, already thronging, where they all proceeded to celebrate in typical departmental fashion. She wasn't one for drinking to excess, but when he had handed her a glass of wine, she had taken it gratefully. "Here's to a job well done," he said, sliding into the booth beside her and clinking her glass with his beer bottle. "Let's hope he goes down for a long time."

"It's funny, isn't it?" she remarked. "Most attacks on prostitutes are about sex, but this guy…he was just all about hurting them."

"No doubt he's got some latent issues that his attorney will try to bring up at trial," Pete replied.

"Haven't we all."

He looked at her curiously. "You know, we've never really had a proper conversation."

"Of course we have. We're having one now, aren't we?"

"You've worked for me for three months now and I know practically nothing about you apart from your work history."

"What else is there to know?" she laughed.

"Well, I can guess you're not married."

"What makes you say that?"

"No wedding ring," he pointed to her hand. "And you stay almost as late at the office as I do, so there's obviously no-one at home waiting for you." He looked at her pointedly. "Am I right?"

"You're right," she admitted, still hating the sound of the words. "I'm divorced."

"What a coincidence, me too. Three years now. You?"

When she thought about it, she could hardly believe it. "Six."

"Wow," he said. "You must have been a child bride."

She laughed again, "Not exactly." And then, for some reason, a reason she would never fully understand, she found herself telling him about Mike, what had happened to them, all of it, and how difficult it had been.

" _Your_ husband punched Kevin Crossley?" Pete said eyes wide. "Well, he's got _my_ respect if nothing else, that's for sure. But...I guess you don't see it that way, huh?"

She shrugged, "I understand why he did it but...it only helped to ruin his career, our marriage..." she stirred her drink with her spoon, feeling the old regret surface within her. "Sometimes I wonder if I should have tried harder but…it got to a point where I just felt…"

"Hey," he put his hand over hers. "You don't have to justify yourself to me. You've been through a pretty horrendous time. _Most_ marriages probably wouldn't have survived all that."

"I know," she felt her eyes fill with tears and she blinked them away, "I just…thought ours would."

XXXX

Later, when she was home alone listening to some music and drinking more wine, Penny's eyes strayed, not for the first time, to the telephone and she wondered if she should call Mike. After six years, would he be surprised to hear from her? When they had parted that Christmas Eve night, she had thought that, somehow, they would run into each other again. New York was a big city, but she had still thought…surely…maybe…it had never happened though, and maybe it was for the best. Walking away from him had been one of the hardest things she had ever had to do.

Instead of lifting the phone, she drank more wine, turned the music up a little louder and started to dance around the apartment, not caring how stupid she might look or how little talent she possessed in the dancing department. It felt good to just…let loose a bit. To not think about prostitutes and johns and the state of her personal life. So, when the buzzer rang, it genuinely surprised her and, for the briefest of moments, she wondered if it was Mike, as though he had perhaps been thinking about her as she had about him.

"Hello?" she asked tentatively.

"Hey Penny, it's Pete."

"Pete?" she paused, momentarily confused. "Oh, hey. Is everything ok?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to make sure that you were ok after our conversation earlier."

"Oh, that's…that's nice of you. I'm fine, thank you."

"Can I come up?"

Later, much later, she would wonder why she had pressed the buzzer to open the door. Why she hadn't just said she was fine and that she would see him at the house the next day. It was one of many reasons why she had felt she couldn't do anything about what would transpire.

"You got a nice place here," Pete said as she retrieved two wine glasses from the kitchen to offer him a glass of what he had brought with him. "Have you lived here long?"

"Uh…nine years," she replied, coming back through to the living area. "We bought it just before we got married."

"And you got to keep it?"

"We agreed that I could stay here. Mike was working on Staten Island by that point, so it made more sense for him to find somewhere closer to the pier." She set the glasses down on the coffee table and watched as he poured liquid into them. "I hear he's back this side of the river now though."

"Must be strange, living here without him."

"It has its moments."

"Not to mention, being here without your daughter."

Penny paused as she lifted one of the glasses and wondered, not for the first time, why she had told him. The only person she had ever wanted to talk to about her was Mike and he had closed down from her at every opportunity. "Well she was barely here so…"

"It must have been so hard," he said softly. "I'm sorry if…earlier…I seemed more interested in what your ex did to Crossley than I was about…"

"Forget about it," she said, draining half the glass in one go. "Most people don't know what to say when they find out. They worry that you're going to start crying or something and they can't deal with that. Mike…couldn't deal with that…"

"I can't even begin to imagine," Pete said, filling her glass again. "Cassie and I never had any kids."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. We didn't divorce because of that." He looked at her. "You know, you're a great girl, Penny." She felt herself flush slightly. It had been a long time since anyone had referred to her as a 'girl.' Did a woman in her late thirties really qualify as that anymore? "You deserve a bit of happiness after everything you've been through." He reached out and touched her cheek gently and she felt a shiver go through her, unsure if it was one of desire or something else. He moved closer to her on the couch and she found herself almost incapable of doing anything. "Not to mention," he continued, "you're beautiful."

When he first kissed her, she didn't react. It was surprising and yet not surprising. He had come to her apartment, late at night, armed with a bottle of wine and she had let him in. Would it have shocked anyone to learn that he had made a move on her? As his lips gently brushed over hers and then pressed down more firmly, she found herself shifting closer to him, opening her mouth, letting his tongue slide in and gently flick against her own. There had been no-one since Mike. No-one in six years. No-one had ever made a move on her in all that time, until now. She had learned to live without affection and thought she was hardened to it, telling herself that, were anyone to touch her again, she would find it difficult to relax, to even begin to enjoy it. And yet, as his kiss grew more insistent, she found that it wasn't difficult at all.

He lifted his mouth from hers and, moving her hair away from her face, kissed her neck, moving lower with each movement, and she heard her breath catch in her throat. Instantly, she was transported back to that Christmas Eve, outside her building, when Mike had kissed her. It had felt like this, only better, more familiar…

Before she knew what was happening, Pete had slid his hand under her t-shirt and found her breasts, her body ashamedly reacting to his touch. She gasped as his fingers plucked at her nipples and then he suddenly moved away from her and began pulling at his tie and shirt buttons, his eyes dark. "What…what are you doing?" she heard herself ask, even though it seemed pretty obvious.

"Giving you what you need," he replied, pulling her sharply downwards so that she was now lying on the couch. "What you desperately need…" he pulled her t-shirt up over her head and tossed it onto the floor, his lips closing over one exposed nipple.

Penny found herself torn between arching towards him and pulling away. It had been so long…so long and…yet…She felt his hands down at her waist, could feel him wriggle her pants down over her legs, could hear the sound of his fly being lowered, could feel him against her bare leg.

"That's it…" he said, taking her wrist and pulling her hand down onto him. "That's it…"

"Wait…" she heard herself say, feeling how hard he was in her hand. "Wait, I…" Her skin stung as he pulled her panties down, the elastic pinging against her leg, and then his fingers were on her, in her, and something just felt…so wrong. "No," she said. "No, wait…"

"Fuck…" he murmured, his finger moving inside her. "Jesus, I knew it…you need this."

"No…" she pulled her hand away from him and tried to push him off of her, but he was well built, heavy, and the alcohol had dulled her own strength. "No Pete…don't…"

"Don't?" he looked at her, his breath ragged. "Don't give you what you want? Come on Pen. You're _dying_ for this. You know you are."

_Pen. Only Mike ever called me Pen. Mike. Oh God. No._

"No," she said, slightly more forcefully. "No, stop. Stop!" He pushed her legs further apart and moved in between them. "Stop! I don't…I don't want this!" Again, she tried to push him away, but with a groan of satisfaction, he pushed himself inside her. "Please…please stop!" Her breath left her body in one gasp as he pressed down hard on top of her, pinning her beneath him and pulling her leg around his waist. "Stop!" Her lower body paralysed, all she could do was start hitting him, slapping him on the upper body until he managed to grab hold of her wrists and pin them behind her head, leaving her with no option but to just lie there. "Stop it!" she screamed as he thrust continually inside her. "Please…please stop!"

"Jesus…" he moaned. "I knew it…I knew you wanted me…"

"Please…" she started to cry, "Please…stop…" He started to move faster, and she could tell that the end was approaching. Though she desperately wanted to scream again, there seemed little point. Didn't men always say that there came a point of no return, a moment when they couldn't stop even if they wanted to?

"Oh God…oh God…yes…oh…yes…!" He thrust harder inside her, two, three, four more times before slowing, groaning and gasping and then collapsing on top of her, breathing heavily. "Yes…" he said. "Yes Pen, you needed that…you needed that…"

She thought she was going to vomit. His weight was pressing heavily on her chest and stomach and when he finally withdrew from her, she could feel the hot, wet sensation of his pleasure pool underneath her. As he pushed himself up into a seated position and casually flicked his slowly withering penis, she felt herself start to shake.

He looked down at her and smiled, "Sorry, that was pretty selfish of me. Manners dictate that I should have seen you right first. Do you want me to finish you off?" His fingers slid towards her again, but she spun away from him, down onto the floor next to the couch before frantically pulling her clothes back up. He looked at her almost pityingly. "It's alright, there's no need to be embarrassed."

"Get out," she said shakily, lifting her t-shirt and pulling it back over her head. "Get out!"

"Calm down," he said, seemingly without concern. "You don't have to get upset about it. It's a perfectly natural thing."

"Natural?!" she got to her feet and moved away from him over to the window. "That was not…not a perfectly natural thing."

"Let's not get carried away," he stood up and dressed himself.

"You…you just raped me," she said, almost unable to believe the words coming out of her mouth. "You raped me."

"No, I didn't."

"I asked you to stop…!"

" _You_ were desperate for it," he said, looking pointedly at her. "You gave out so many signals Pen. The way we talked at the bar and the things you told me, the fact that you let me come here, drank wine with me, kissed me…not to mention…"

"Not to mention what?"

"Well, you were unbelievably wet…"

His words disgusted her, and she gagged slightly, "Get out!"

"Pen…"

"Stop calling me that! Get out! Get out of my apartment!"

He held up his hands, "Look, I can understand feelings of regret. I know it's been a long time for you…"

Anger coursed through her and, taking a few steps to her left, she lifted her weapon from the table, cocked the hammer and pointed it at him. "Get out now!"

His eyes darkened. "Now that's just stupid. Pulling a gun on your Captain? I could have you up on charges for that. Not a good look for someone with as clean a jacket as you."

"And I could have you up on charges of second-degree rape and don't think I won't!" she retorted.

"Really?" he shook his head. "I don't think any jury would buy that you didn't want me Penny, do you? I'll see you tomorrow, bright and early." Turning his back on her, he headed over towards the door before stopping to turn back. "By the way. That little birthmark at the top of your thighs? That's a real turn on, right there."

The door was closed and he was long gone before Penny realised that she was still pointing her gun at the place where he had been standing. Lowering it, she ran over to the door and bolted it with the chain before turning back to survey the scene before her. The wine bottle and glasses were still on the table, the couch cushions were all messed up and she could see the darkening stain on the fabric. "Jesus…" she whispered to herself, realising that she was trembling. Slowly, she made her way over to the phone and put the gun back down on the table.

She should call 911.

She should call the local precinct.

She should call the Special Victims Unit.

She should call Mike.

Mike. Why would she call Mike? They hadn't spoken in six years and she had just…with a man whom she barely knew and yet had told all her innermost secrets too. A man…a man she had thought she could trust. A man everyone liked. A man, just like he had said, that she had invited into her apartment, drank with, kissed…

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. He was right. It would be his word against hers that it hadn't been consensual and what jury would ever believe…?

"This didn't happen," she said, opening her eyes again. "Nothing happened here. Nothing at all." Mechanically, she lifted the bottle and glasses from the table and took them to the kitchen, then she took off her clothes, dumped them into the wash hamper and stepped into the shower. The warm water flowed over her body and she scrubbed at herself with the flannel until her skin was red and inflamed. "Nothing happened."

By the time she emerged, the stench of him gone, she almost believed it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Manhattan – November 2006**

"But I thought you and Penny were picking up Madison and Rick?"

"I know," Mike said, "but something's...something come up. Can you and Petrelli do it?"

"Ok..." Megan said slowly. "What about the interviews?"

"You can do them too."

"Logan, has something happened?"

Mike glanced over his shoulder to where Penny was sitting on the wall, bent forwards, her head in her hands. "Yeah, but I can't tell you right now."

"But..."

"Wheeler, just do it, ok?" He snapped his cell phone shut and walked back over to her. He hovered, unsure at to what he should do. He wanted to physically comfort her, was desperate to, and yet he didn't know if she would want that. "Pen…" She winced at the use of the name and kept her face covered. "Pen, I think we should go back inside."

"No," she said, removing her hands and straightening up. "No, we need to pick up Rick and Madison."

"I've asked Wheeler and Petrelli to do it."

She looked up at him, almost in disbelief. "No…we need to do it."

"You can't go anywhere right now." He crouched in front of her. "We need to talk about what you just disclosed to me." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he regretted them. He sounded like a detective trying to coax information from a victim not…not someone personally involved. "I mean…we should talk."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Penny…"

"Mike, please…" She got to her feet and looked at him. "I really…I really don't want to talk about it."

"Tell me what he did to you." She shook her head. "Please…tell me."

"I can't."

He paused, realising there was a reason why he would never have made it in SVU. There was a fine line between letting her tell him when she felt able to and demanding to know what had happened and, given how much he knew he still cared for her, he felt himself leaning towards the latter. "Please tell me that you reported it." She looked at the ground and he felt his heart sink. No wonder Miller had looked so smug. "Penny…why?"

"Because I…" she looked at him and then stopped. For a moment, she held his gaze and he could see the anguish in her eyes. Then she seemed to give herself an internal shake and hardened again. "It doesn't matter, ok. It doesn't matter. It never happened."

She started to walk in the direction of her car again and, momentarily confused, he had to hurry to catch her up. "What do you mean it never happened? Penny, he either raped you or he didn't!"

"Why don't you just yell it out so the whole city can hear you?!" she retorted acerbically.

"Penny!" Frustrated, he grabbed her arm again and turned her to face him. "Did he rape you?"

She looked at him for a long moment and he could see the wheels turning in her head. Her gaze flittered all over his face and he couldn't help but think that she had barely changed in all the years he hadn't seen her. Nothing had changed for him. Nothing. He had been a fool to think it ever would have. "No."

"What?"

"I said no. He didn't rape me. Now, can we go?" She hurried away from him again towards the car and though he felt as though his insides had been turned inside out, he refrained from asking her any more about it. He knew enough about dealing with victims to give her a little leeway. They drove through the streets towards Madison's house in silence, only for him to see Megan's car parked outside when they arrived. As Penny pulled up alongside, he saw Megan and Lewis emerging from Madison's house, the former holding her by the arm.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, frowning as they approached. "You told us to come get her."

"I know," he said, "I'm sorry."

"We can take her," Penny said breezily, stepping over and taking Madison's other arm. "You guys can bring in Heston if you want."

"Rick?" Madison said, looking between them both. "I don't understand, what is going on?"

"We'll explain everything back at 1PP," Penny replied, propelling her towards the car.

"Logan, what is going on?" Megan asked, when Penny was out of earshot. "First you say you're picking them up, then you tell us to do it and now you're here…"

"I'm sorry, it's just…" he glanced back over to where Penny was pushing Madison into the back of the car. "Something…something happened. I can't…I can't tell you what it is…"

"Mike…"

"Can you go and bring in Heston?" he ignored her. "Penny and I can take Madison back and do her interview."

"I thought you wanted _me_ to interview her with Penny?"

Mike could feel himself growing more irritated by the moment, and yet he wasn't sure who his ire was directed more at. Megan for labouring the point, or Penny for clamming up. "Please," he said, trying to keep his temper under control. "I'll try and explain later." Before his partner could say anymore, he turned back to the car and climbed into the passenger seat.

XXXX

"So, how do you want to play this?" Penny said, as they stood watching Madison through the one-way glass.

Mike looked at her. "How do you mean?"

"Well, good cop, bad cop? Give her everything upfront? Give her nothing? What's your suggestion for how we conduct the interview?" She looked at him as though it was the most obvious question ever asked. "She hasn't asked for an attorney…"

"She will," he said, "the moment we begin asking her any questions. I'm surprised Manchero hasn't been down here already."

"No doubt he'll turn up as soon as he realises she's here," Penny said. "Maybe we should just take a softly-softly approach and see if she decides to give us anything. She looks nervous enough. She could crack."

He looked at her again. "Penny…maybe you should let Megan and I take this one."

She met his gaze. "Why?"

"Why…?" he shook his head. "After what you said earlier…"

"Nothing happened Mike."

"I don't believe you. When you were yelling at me that there was no way you would have willingly slept with Miller, you were telling the truth. I know you. I could see it." He felt anger rise inside him again and he tried to keep it focused on the right person. "You can turn around and deny it now all you want…"

"I am just trying to do my job here…"

"I think it's pretty obvious that the task force has no business being on this case. There's no human trafficking element here and you _know_ that." She said nothing. "Yes, it's all a bit weird what's gone on in the background but, getting down to business, this is an abduction and a murder and here at Major Case, we're pretty good at those." He paused. "You said yourself that Miller wanted you on Madison from the moment you started working for him. There has to be some reason for that."

Penny looked down at the floor. "There is a reason."

"So, what is it?"

"It's because he knows."

"Knows what?"

She took a breath and met his gaze. "He knows about Emily."

_Emily._

The mere mention of her name made Mike feel as though he had been punched in the gut. He felt physically winded and his chest tightened uncomfortably. He never spoke her name, never wanted to. It felt as though, if he just didn't say it, didn't think it, then it couldn't hurt. Couldn't take him to the dark place. Hearing her say it so easily, especially after all these years…

_God…no…I don't want to think about this…I don't want to think about her…_

He knew it would be so easy to walk away, to shut down like he always had, but there was something…cold…insidious about the way Penny had said it that made him want to know more, for the first time in a long time. "I don't…I don't understand…"

"He knows about Emily," she repeated. "He knows that we lost her and…and he's using my grief as her mother to wrap me into this case…wrap me into him…" she looked through the glass at Madison again. "I guess I only just realised. It's amazing how blind you can be when you try to block things out."

"How does he know?"

"I told him."

"Why…why would you…?"

"Because I'm able to talk about her rather than pretending that she never existed," she looked at him again, her eyes filled with pain. "And because he was my Captain. Because I thought he was a nice guy…" she trailed off and swallowed hard. "He had already figured out some of my vulnerabilities. I guess I just gave him even more ammunition when I told him about her. I think he thought I would feel some sort of comfort from him."

Mike held his breath. She was poised to tell him, he could sense it, and he didn't want to say or do anything that might make her change her mind. Despite his own fears surrounding Emily, he wanted to know, _needed_ to know what had happened, if only so he could justify pummelling Miller into the ground. Just as he thought she was about to continue, however, the door opened and Megan came in.

"There you guys are," she said, a note of accusation in her tone. "We brought Heston in. He's cooling his heels in the other room. And Dean Manchero is here with a lawyer for Madison."

"What did I tell you?" Penny said, turning away from the glass, her manner once more business-like. "I guess we'd better see if she's any better at taking legal advice than Joey was."

Before he could say anything, she swept out of the room and he stood there, redundantly watching her leave, his chest still tight from her earlier revelation.

Megan stepped towards him. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," he said, finding his voice.

"You don't look it."

"I said I'm fine, Wheeler, ok?!" He knew he was snapping at the wrong person, knew it was in no way her fault and yet he felt as though he needed to vent at _someone._ "We'll interview Madison and see what she gives us."

"Logan, what's going on?" Megan put her hand on his arm as he made to move past her and he wished he could tell her. She was an understanding person, a good, decent person. She would counsel him, she would help him and yet…he knew he couldn't breach the little confidence Penny had put him in him. How could he?

"Nothing," he replied, "Nothing at all."

XXXX

"I have nothing to say," Madison said, "other than I want you to find my daughter."

"Come on," Penny snorted, "we know she's not your daughter."

"You have a DNA test to prove this?" her lawyer asked.

"We don't need one because we have Joey. He sat in here and told us the whole story, Madison. About how he had a fling with your cousin Laurie, got her pregnant and then sold the baby to you in order to pay off his drug debt to Henry Booker."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Madison said, folding her arms across her chest. "My daughter is missing, my nanny has been murdered and you're more interested in some stupid story that Joey told you?"

"We thought you and Joey were love's young dream," Mike said. "Why would he tell us a story like that if it wasn't true."

"Because he's a crackhead! Jesus, isn't it obvious?"

"But what does he have to gain from it?"

"How would I know?" She wiped her eyes. "I just want my daughter back home!"

"You love Maya-Rose, don't you?" Penny asked softly.

"Of course I do, she's my daughter!"

"There's nothing quite like the love a mother has for her child. It's…all consuming. Like, you would do anything to protect that little life." Madison stared at her. "It's a powerful emotion, Madison. Not one that a woman can just turn on and off."

"I don't know…"

"Laurie couldn't handle it, could she? She thought she could, but she wasn't able to fight it. She wasn't able to watch you raise Maya-Rose as your own and cast her aside."

"She wasn't cast aside, she was…!" Madison stopped as her lawyer touched her arm.

"Laurie has Maya-Rose, doesn't she?" Mike asked. "Where would she take her?"

"She doesn't have her. My daughter has been abducted by some crazy person!"

"Alright," the lawyer said, "I think we've answered enough of your questions. My client is clearly distraught by the abduction of her child…"

"Is she?" Penny asked.

"Yes, now if there's nothing else…" they got to their feet.

"It really wouldn't look good for your pop princess image if people found out about this little scam, would it?" Penny said thoughtfully. "I mean, all those parents who let their kids buy your albums and look up to you…"

"Are you threatening me?" Madison asked.

"No, it's just an observation."

"You find my baby," she said, leaning over the table. "Or I will sue all of you, especially _you_!" With that, she and the lawyer swept out of the room, slamming the door behind them.

"She knows Laurie has the baby," Penny said. "She doesn't want to tell us because, as I suggested, it would ruin her image if she admitted to the agreement they had."

"So you're convinced that Joey's telling the truth? That the baby is his and Laurie's?"

Penny met his gaze, "If she really was her mother, Madison would be more concerned about finding her than what the truth might do to her career." She got to her feet. "We should talk to Heston. If he was the one who helped Laurie get the baby out of the city, it's just as likely that he was the one who killed Paola."

"He's not going to cop to that."

"Maybe not, but there's no harm in turning the screws a little…" Penny trailed off as the door to the interrogation room opened and Ross appeared. Behind him, leaning against the far wall, was Miller.

"Detectives…"

Mike felt a ball of hot anger start in his stomach at the sight of the man and his fists involuntarily clenched at his sides. Punching the little prick would be a hundred times more satisfying than punching Crossley had been and he wouldn't care if he spent the rest of his life on Staten Island. He glanced at Penny and saw that her face had gone white.

"Sorry to interrupt," Ross continued, "but there's been a development."

"What kind of development?" Penny asked.

"You're off the case," Miller said, before Ross could reply. "Effective immediately."

"The Chief of Detectives has come to the conclusion that the evidence no longer warrants involvement form the task force," Ross said. "The human trafficking angle is shaky at best and he feels resources would be better spent with Major Case taking the investigation back and treating it as an abduction and murder. I know we're all grateful for the work you and Detective Petrelli have done, Detective Fletcher. No doubt your Lieutenant has something juicier for you to get your teeth into now."

"I'm sure I can find something for her," Miller said.

_No way. No way do you get her back._

"Captain…" Mike stepped forward, "Penny's a good detective and she knows this case inside out. Surely it would be of benefit to have her continue to work on it?" Ross looked at him. "She could be seconded until it's over, kind of like I was when I first got here."

Ross paused and, for a moment, Mike thought he was seriously considering the idea.

"I'm sorry Logan," Miller pushed himself away from the wall and stepped into the doorway before the other man could reply. "I'm afraid I can't spare her. We've got a lot on our plate at the task force and she's needed elsewhere." He smiled at him and Mike realised he had never hated anyone as much as he hated Pete Miller.

Penny turned to him again and he waited for her to retaliate, for her to fight fire with fire the way he knew she was capable of. "Well…I guess this is it." He stared at her. "I'll leave you all my notes and things, just in case you could use any of them and…and I hope you find Maya-Rose safe and well."

Mike shook his head in disbelief. "That's it?"

"That's it. Thank you for your hospitality, Captain." Penny moved past Ross and Miller and made her way over to where her coat lay on a vacant desk. For a moment, Mike watched her go and then followed her. "Please Mike," she said in a low voice when he caught up to her, "Please don't make a scene."

"A scene? You're leaving here with him and you don't want me to make a fucking _scene_?!"

"I'm not leaving with him, I'm going back to my regular job."

She gasped as he grabbed hold of her arm and forced her to face him, not caring what everyone else in the room might think. "You're not leaving here until you tell me the truth about what happened, all of it!"

"Mike, you're hurting me…"

"All of it!" he shook her for emphasis. "Everything that happened and everything he did!"

"Logan!" Ross came up behind them and Mike instantly released her. "Is there some sort of problem here?"

"No," Penny said automatically.

"Yeah," Mike said, "yeah there is and it's _him_!" He pointed to where Miller was standing, a faux look of bemusement on his face. "You think you're so clever, don't you? You think that nobody can touch you because you're a Lieutenant on a task force?"

"Mike…"

"I know what you did!"

"Mike!"

He stopped and turned back to where Penny was looking at him, her face still ashen, her hands trembling slightly. "Please don't."

"Penny…"

"If you still feel anything for me, please _don't._ "

He stood, rooted to the spot, as she put on her jacket, offered murmured thanks to Megan, who looked completely stunned, and then turned to walk towards the elevator, Petrelli and Miller behind.

_If I still feel anything for you…Jesus Christ, why do you think I'm doing this?_

Ross stepped towards him, "Mike…"

_No, no I'm not letting you go like this…_

Ignoring his captain, Mike hurried after the hastily retreating group, catching up with them as Miller pressed the call button. "Penny…"

"Leave it Mike, please," she replied wearily.

"Tell me what happened, and we can fix it, ok? We can fix it!"

"No, we can't!" she rounded on him. "We can't fix it! _You_ can't fix it!"

"No, Penny, wait!" he grabbed her arm as she made to turn away again. "We can talk. We can talk about all of it, any of it, please…please let me help you with this! Please!"

"Let her go Logan," Miller said.

"Screw you," he replied. "It's not too late, Pen. It's never too late to report something like this!"

"Move away from her Detective," Miller said warningly, stepping between them. "I think Penny's made it clear how she feels."

"Oh really?" he squared up to the other man. "You think she's made it clear, huh? How about I make it clear exactly how I feel about _you!_ I could knock you out right here."

"Uh…" Petrelli stuttered, "maybe…maybe…"

"You try anything with me, and I'll have you up on charges," Miller pointed at Mike. "You think Staten Island was bad? I'll find somewhere for you to go where nobody would _ever_ find you."

"You raping son-of-a-bitch…!" Mike swung for him, but his aim was thwarted by someone grabbing him from behind and pulling him backwards.

"Logan!" Ross yelled in his face as he slammed back against the far wall. "That is enough!"

Miller buttoned up his jacket and stepped into the elevator car. "I hope you enjoyed your brief stint back in the big city, Detective, because you're finished as far as the NYPD is concerned."

"If rapists like you are in charge, then I'm glad," he shot back, watching as first Petrelli then Penny followed their boss into the car.

_I'm losing her..._

"Penny…"

"I'm sorry," she said, tears streaking her face as the doors slid closed. "I'm so sorry."


End file.
